Brandon May's 3 Cheers - Mavs Land Musings

Let It Be (the Mavs in '07)

So we come to the end of the Beatles-themed titles of the blog postings.  No word yet on what the future holds, but rest assured it will be completely awesome.  This post title comes after watching a Mavs team missing one star and having another star suffer an off night.  Guess what?  They didn't lose.  The rest of the players, the unheralded players, came through for them.  It was a night of celebration all around, and I would like to think that a night like that can only further solidify a great team into an even greater team.  Let's get to it.

3 CHEERS: MAVS 122 vs. SONICS 102

DIRK'S DIGITS!

Dirk went insane tonight for 34 points and, wait, what?  Hang on a second.  These numbers have to be Dirk's, but it's not on Dirk's line.

DIRK'S CROSHERE'S CAREER NIGHT!

Austin Croshere took advantage of an off night from Dirk and a missing Josh Howard to post a career high 34 points on 11 of 14 shooting, including a career high 7 of 10 3 point shooting and 5 of 5 from the line.  He also pitched in 7 boards and 3 assists.  Every time it looked like the Sonics were getting away from us, he drained a big shot.  After going 4 games without playing, he filled in the available minutes with a game for the ages that left the team and the coach celebrating for him and celebrating a win.

1. Ray Allen - So he outscored Croshere.  Big deal.  He lost.  Even so, 34 points on 14 of 24 shooting, 6 boards, 7 assists, and 2 steals is a great line that normally wins games for you.  It wins games when the opposing team's best player has an off night.  It doesn't win games when a rarely used bench player goes off on your team for a career night like Croshere did.

2. Greg Buckner - Further proof that if the Mavs starters don't get you, the Mavs bench players will.  In addition to Croshere, Buckner is one of those guys you don't game plan for.  He made the Sonics pay with 17 points on 8 of 11 shooting, 3 assists and 3 steals.

3. Jason Terry - JET took advantage of the bench players unexpected performance to nail 19 points on 6 of 10 shooting, including 2 of 5 from 3 and 5 of 6 from the line.  He also raked in 4 assists and a steal.

RANDOM CRAP!

• Congrats to Josh Howard, who missed the game because he was in New York to witness the birth of his first child.  No word on whether the child was born with braces.
• On a night were Dirk's 8 game streak with 20+ points and 10+ boards ended with his line of 15 and 6, I must say that I misspoke about Dirk's prowess in this category in the last blog.  He's actually more dominant than I previously said.  Not only did he have the 8 game streak, but he had a 7 game streak earlier in the season.  In all, he has 26 games of 20 and 10 this year, which leads the league.  His 8 and 7 game streaks are first and second in the league for such streaks.  I previously said that no one had a streak longer than 5.  That was a dirty lie.  No one has a streak longer than 4, and only 3 guys have done that.
• On top of all the other celebrating, it was DeSagana Diop's 25th birthday, so he partied it up with 1 point, 5 boards, a steal and a block.
• During a pregame interview, I learned that Dirk likes to wear a headband during practice, Roger Federer style.
• Devean George started for Howard tonight, and I have to give a tribute to G2000 for being versatile enough to be able to replace both Devin Harris (quick, ball handling point guard) and Josh Howard (slashing small forward) in the starting lineup so far this season.
• The NBA coaches had to turn in their ballots for the All-Star reserves before this game.  The coaches can't vote for their own players, so we will find out on Thursday if the other coaches in the league respect the fact that the best team in the league deserves more than one player on the squad.
• Right before the game on Fox Sports Southwest, they display a message that Waco viewers will be seeing the Baylor Bears/Colorado Buffaloes basketball game instead of the Mavs game.  Later they correct that to say that if you are in Waco, you can catch the Baylor game on another channel, but they are still showing the Mavs game.  Being a Baylor grad, I remember what it was like to turn on the television and pray that I would get the Mavs game instead of the Spurs or Rockets or Baylor Bears or some hunting show since I was right in the middle of the state.  If I was watching a Mavs pregame show in college, and they told me that all of a sudden I would have to watch my mediocre Bears play a crappy Buffaloes team instead of watching my Mavs, I would have transferred the next day.
• I don't see why Dirk won't make the All-Star team, but he'll be there anyway as they announced that all champs from last year's skill competitions will be defending their crowns this year.  That means that Dirk, last year's 3 Point Shootout champ, will be there to take on all comers.
• I just saw an ad that this coming Saturday's home game against the Minnesota Timberwolves is Ladies Night at the American Airlines Center.  Guess who got tickets to that game for Christmas?  Of course, the Dude is going with his Dudette, but still . . . AWWW, YEEEAAAHHHH!
• The Mavs were tied at 28 with the Sonics at the end of the first quarter, but then they went on a tear in the second, totaling 38 for the quarter and a season-high 66 for the half.  That was the highest scoring half (1st or 2nd) the Mavs have put up so far this season.  I think I know what did it.  I was watching the game on Tivo after my wife stopped watching American Idol (okay, I was watching it, too) and at the start of the 2nd quarter, my dog, Nelson, hopped in my lap.  If you don't know already, my dog is a mini-schnauzer, and he's named after the 2nd best coach in Mavs history, Don Nelson.  I start petting on him, and the Mavs start doing well.  So I pet on him for the entire quarter, and now my hand stinks.  It was worth it, though.  Mavs up 66-54 at the half.
• At half time (it's 10:30 pm CST as I'm watching it), I decide I want a turkey sandwich.  Of course, I wash my hands thoroughly after petting Nelson, then I make a sandwich.  For those of you that know me well, that took about 15 minutes.  The Mavs start sucking in the 3rd quarter, turning a 12 point lead at the half into a 5 point lead going into the 4th.  It was clearly the turkey sandwich that caused this to happen.  I should have known better.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  There was a bag of chips right there, but NO!  I had to get greedy.
• Croshere hits a 3 pointer to set his career high with a minute and a half to go in the game.  Avery pulls him so that he can get a standing ovation from the crowd, which is a really cool thing for Avery to do.  Avery had multiple opportunities to sit Croshere with the game in hand, but he knew what it would mean to Cro, what it would mean to the crowd, and more importantly, what it would mean to the team chemistry to celebrate more than a win.  When Croshere came out, the entire bench (including a very exuberant Dirk, whose off night was negated by Croshere's performance, and he was able to get some much needed bench rest time as well) went nuts to congratulate him on his career night.  Avery's so proud of Cro, that before he enters the locker room, he takes off his shirt and tie, puts on one of Croshere's jerseys, and then confronts the team for the postgame speech.  This is more than a bench player having a good night.  This is evidence that the team legitimately enjoys each other's company, and wishes each other success individually if it brings a win.  How many times do you see the star player of a team have an off night, get benched for their backup that's having a career night, and then later see that star player, the rest of the team, and even the coach genuinely excited about the accomplishments of said backup?  It happens rarely, and when it does, it means you have a special team.  It's not like for every Shaq and Kobe, you have a David Robinson and Tim Duncan.  It doesn't happen every day, but when it does, you have something.  Croshere's night, statistically, is going to wind up being a blip on the radar of the Mavs season come June, but what it will bring in other ways is immeasurable.

In honor of Austin Croshere's career night, we will unveil the 4th song from The (Blue and) White Album.  Croshere's song is a remake of the Jackson 5's classic "I'll Be There", but this one's called "I'm Croshere".

The Mavs and I must make a pact/They must know I'll always have their back/Where there is playing time/I'm Croshere/I might not play for days/But I'll do whatever Avery says/Just call my name/I'm Croshere

I'll be there to play for you/I will nail an open 3/You'll be so glad you went with me/I'll be there with a strength that's strong/I know that sounds redundant, but it's true and I'm not going to apologize (apologize)

I know I'm here because you gave up Marquis/But I promise to earn my keeps/Whenever you need me/I'm Croshere/You might think that I'm a balding white guy/You wouldn't be wrong, but I'm the right guy/Just call my name/I'm Croshere

Don't you know, Avery, yeah, yeah/I'm Croshere/I'm Croshere/Just call my name/I'm Croshere

(Just look over shoulder, Avery, HOOOOO!)

I'm Croshere/I'm Croshere/Whenever you need me/I'm Croshere

Enjoy the last day of January with a Mavs game against the Memphis Grizzlies at 7:00 pm CST.  Also, enjoy the latest song off the upcoming The (Blue and) White Album.  Once I get about 6 songs on track, then I will email Mark Cuban for production and financing assistance.  I'm pretty positive that he will be more than happy to help out.  If he's not, then the Dude will just have to do what he does best: improvise and write a blog about it.  Go Mavs!

Mavvy Road

Much has occurred to the Dude on Mavvy Road since the Mavs got back on the winning track Saturday night.  My favorite part was when I had to buy a new set of tires for my truck, which only has 5 months left on the lease, just so I could pass my inspection to legally drive on Mavvy Road.  Why was I concerned with passing the inspection?  Because I had already gotten a ticket for being 2 months late, so in order to not have to pay what might very well have been a $150 ticket, I wound up having to spend about $300 more than that.  Must have been a slow night on the patrol for that cop that pulled me over on Mavvy Road.  He gave me the 10 day warning to get it fixed, for which I'm grateful, but it does make me wonder why the hell he bothered to pull me over in the first place.  He might have gone easy on me because my daughter was in the car looking cute and smiling at him, or it might have been because I didn't use my first or second response to his initial question of, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"  I do know how to bite my tongue sometimes.  Now let's get to the game that happened on Saturday.

3 CHEERS: MAVS 106 vs. KINGS 104

DIRK'S DIGITS!

Dirk pretty much made sure that the Mavs wouldn't lose this game until the rest of the team decided to help his cause in the 4th quarter.  Dirk drained a clutch jumper and two clutch free throws, and he finished with a very MVP-like 32 points on 11-18 shooting (2 of 3 from 3 land, 8 of 8 free throws), 11 boards, and 5 assists.  Just a quick side note, courtesy of the Dallas Morning News.  This was Dirk's 4th game this season with 30+ points, 10+ boards, and 5+ assists.  Kobe Bryant and Lebron James, widely regarded as the most versatile players in the league, only have 3 such games.  Dirk is also on a personal 8 game streak of 20+ points and 10+ boards.  No one else in the league this season has streak of more than 5 at any point in the season.  Just something for your consideration.

1. Devin Harris - Shook off a recent slump due to a bout with the flu to power the Mavs in the hustle department.  It showed by getting to the charity stripe 9 times and finishing with 14 points, 6 assists, 1 steal, 2 blocks, and 5 boards, the last board being the won that sealed the victory.

2. Ron Artest - I'm not a fan of the guy, but after a night with 10 of 15 shooting, hitting both his 3's, and finishing with 25 points, 6 boards, 3 assists and 3 steals, I have to give him some credit.  I would also like to congratulate him for not attacking any fans at the American Airlines Center or stopping the game to promote any upcoming rap albums he's made.  Ed. note: The Dude is free to stop 3 Cheers to promote his album, The (Blue and) White Album, whenever he damn well pleases and is in no way a hypocrite for making fun of Artest's penchant for doing the same during a basketball season.

3. Jerry Stackhouse - I was going to go with Terry for his 18 points and 7 assists, but I've just been very impressed with Stack's ability to make the most of the time he's on the court.  He's always been a 6th man for us, but his minutes were on par with, if not more than, most of the starters.  Since returning from injury, The General has been very disciplined in keeping Stack between 22 and 24 minutes per game, or basically half the game.  If you take his point production and average it out for an entire game, he's averaging 30 points for every 48 minutes played.  That's impressive.  In this game, in 25 minutes, he scored 16 points on an incredible 7 of 10 shooting, grabbed a couple of boards and picked up a steal.

RANDOM CRAP!

• Again, compliments of Eddie Sefko, Mavs beat writer for the Dallas Morning News: The Mavericks were finishing up practice Monday with a free-throw contest.  The players paired up and everybody had to shoot 10 free throws.  The pair that combined for the most made would be the winner.  Because there's an odd number of players on the roster, Avery Johnson teamed with Devin Harris.  Guess who won?  "We were having a shooting game and here he goes and wins the shooting game, him and Devin," said Jason Terry.  "He is competitive."
• The Suns finally lost a game, ending their winning streak at 17 games.  As much as I would love to see the Mavs go 82-0 and every other team finish .500, it's somewhat exciting that two teams can be putting together these kinds of seasons simultaneously.  Both teams have identical records of 36-9, which is even more impressive when you realize that these two teams were a combined 1-9 to start the year.  That means that in their first 10 games combined, they lost as many games as they've lost in their last 80 games combined.  Wow!  I'm sure there will be more to discuss on this topic if they both continue their torrid run through the league, but for now just enjoy the ride.  It doesn't come along very often, and it helps the casual fan get excited about random, "meaningless" games in early February.
• I'm not sure if you've seen the new Nike commercial advertising their version of a dream team (hogwash), how awesome it is playing basketball in an empty airplane hangar, how awesome it is to watch guys walk in slow motion, and oh yeah, Nike shoes.  It's labeled the Second Coming.  Second coming of what?  White suits?  Their team consists of Steve Nash (no arguments), Jermaine O'Neal (talented player), Chris Paul (very talented, but with only 1.5 years on his resume, a bulk of which has been lost to injury, still unproven), Paul Pierce (I forgot he still played (can you believe there was a time when people made fun of us for passing on Pierce to draft some no-name from Germany named Dirk?)), Amare Stoudemire (can't deny the talent, but now we have 2 Suns on the squad), Kobe Bryant (surprised he was willing to share a commercial), Lebron James (surprised he was willing to do a commercial without 3 other versions of himself in costume superimposed on the screen), Tony Parker (if you pause it during the 24.5 second mark, there's a subliminal "Did you know I was engaged to Eva Longoria" phrase that flashes on the screen), Shawn Marion (also very talented, but now Nike's Top 10 Team has 3 Suns on the roster and 0 Mavs), and Rasheed Wallace (the commercial doesn't show any refs calling their normal, every-day pickup game between millionaires in an airplane hangar, but I'm sure he still managed to pick up 3 technicals).
• On a parting shot, or a parting crap as it is, Saturday marked the 7th month of 3 Cheers - Mavs Land Musings.  In that 7 months, I have made 91 posts and received 1730 hits.  That averages out to about 250 visitors a month and over 8 visitors a day.  Bear in mind that 4 of those months were during a very slow and painful off season.  It's no Google, but thank you for your interest.  I will try to keep you wanting more and constantly coming back.

The (Blue and) White Album has brought you "Finals Funk" and "Damn, Dirk is Fine."  Make way for the world premiere of Jerry Stackhouse's song.  I was thinking about going with a remake of this little Commodores gem.  But I decided to stay true to the song that I have labeled him with since the emails and blogs started.  I give you "Stack's House".

A whole lotta superstars on this court here tonight/But I want y'all to know one thing/This is - Stack's House/And when I say who's house/Y'all know what time it is/Who's House?/Stack's House!

Ah, once again the drill/It's your hopes I kill/You cannot fathom that/I ever had this skill/Till a ruler came/With a cooler name/I make ya break your ankles, drive the fans insane/Name is Stack my son/A ManiAAC for fun/When I react, I've won/And got jacked by none/The other's game is lame/My jumpers drain and spill/Your cardiac reacts and Stack heads the bill/Who's House?/Stack's House!/Who's House?/Stack's House!

I'm in the house, y'all/I'm in the house, y'all/And this is how the Forty-Deuce will turn it out,y'all/I'm in the house, y'all/I'm in the house,y'all/And this is what the Forty-Deuce be all about, y'all/Well, you know my name is Stack/The all-time great/I lead the best bench in the NBA/Reporters cry/Opponents Die/They wanna be down with the Mavs!/I'm a wanted player from a wanted team slayer/If Dirk's the Pres, then I'm the Mayor/Not a K.O.B.E off the street/But an S.T.A.C.K. complete/Who's House?/Stack's House!/Who's House?/Stack's House!

Seriously, listen to the song as you read the Dude's special lyrics for Stack.  I seriously missed my calling as one of the baddest MC's in all the land.  Word!  That's the latest recording to be penned and recorded at Mavvy Road studios, and there will definitely be more to come as we round out the album.  There might even be some B-sides that don't make the cut.  I don't know yet.  It just depends on how much brilliance pours out of me at one time.  Sometimes I need a funnel so that it doesn't spill everywhere, and I can make sure every beautiful drop lands in the sweet crucible that is the 3 Cheers blog.  And by the way, my second response to the cop's question of "Do you know why I pulled you over?" was "Do you know I'm the Dude, man?  I write 3 Cheers!"  My first was "Because you're a fascist?"  I bit my tongue, and now I'm free to keep driving down Mavvy Road (on some new tires, no less).  Go Mavs!

(Yellow) Submarined in Chicago

And just like that, the Mavs 8-game winning streak is over, all because we couldn't have tossed the ball into Lake Michigan while standing on Navy Pier.  On top of that, the All-Star starters were announced and once again the fans that voted have no friggin' clue what's going on outside of their playstations and local footlocker posters.  But no need to be sad.  At the end of this post, I will reveal track #1 off the upcoming The (Blue and) White Album.  It's Dirk's song, and it's guaranteed to change your life.

3 CHEERS: MAVS 85 @ BULLS 96

DIRK'S DIGITS!

Assistant coach Del Harris summed up the night the best when he said, "In my years of experience, I've learned that when none of your players play well, you usually don't win."  Sure, Dirk had 28 points, 11 rebounds and 2 blocks, but he only shot 7 of 22 from the field.  For an MVP candidate that is making over 50% of his shots for the season, 32% sucks something awful.  It looks even worse when you shoot the ball 22 times.  It looks even worse when the whole team shoots 31% for the game, your second fiddle (Howard) shoots 4 of 20 (20%) and your third fiddle (Terry) shoots 4 of 14 (29%).  In fact, I apologize to any of you that actually got excited by my blog and decided to tune into TNT last night to watch these guys.  If it weren't for the simple fact that a rare performance like that doesn't turn me off because I used to watch an output like that about 60 times a year during the 90's, I would have rather have sat outside in 100 degree heat in a space suit while I watched water evaporate.  Being as it was, the 3 Cheers all go to Bulls players.

1. Ben Wallace - Big Ben was rocking the Afro last night, and he was also rocking the Mavs on the boards.  Wallace finished with only 5 points, but an astonishing 17 rebounds and 4 blocks.  This was the guy that I was hoping that we could have worked a sign and trade with Detroit last year to get in the middle.  Chicago paid more, and I don't think the Pistons were going to be interested in my package of Dampier, Rawle Marshall and 50% off their next purchase at the Gap.

2. Ben Gordon - He's not as tall as this picture makes him appear.  But he's good.  Really good.  12 of 23 shooting for 30 points, 6 boards, 5 assists and 2 steals.  He basically stole Josh Howard's usual stat line and claimed it as his own.

3. Luol Deng - This dashing young man deserves some credit for besting Howard one on one, scoring 21 points on 8 of 16 shooting, grabbing 9 rebounds (5 offensive), and adding a couple of assists and a steal.

RANDOM CRAP!

• Doug Collins is the color analyst for this TNT broadcast.  Collins is a former Bulls coach.  My wife asked if he was the former drummer from Genesis and had that great solo album called No Jacket Required.  I hated to tell her otherwise.
• TNT shows an advertisement for their postgame show called Overtime (clever name, huh?).  Anyway, maybe you remember a little rant I had about the last one of those I saw where Shane "Shar-Pei" Battier taught us the art of the charge, and how disgusted I was by it.  Well, that disgust was like popsicles and pudding compared to the one they advertised during this game: Defense 101 with Bruce Bowen.  I didn't watch, mainly because I was ready for bed and I would prefer to not voluntarily watch something that would make my head explode.
• When the Mavs got to Chicago, The General surprised the troops by canceling practice the day before the game.  Man, don't you wish Avery could take that back?  The first quarter was ugly.  The second quarter was ugly with a broken nose.  The third quarter was ugly, broken nose and a neck boil that was like the 900-pound gorilla in the room that everyone notices and no one wants to talk about.  The fourth quarter, the Mavs made a run, got back within 3, but then they pulled back that hazy lens they used to use on Cybil Shepard on those old episodes of Moonlighting to make her look even more glamorous and exposed that ugly, broken nosed, boiled and hairy moled team that they were for the bulk of the night.  This in no way suggests that Cybil Shepard is ugly, has a broken nose, a neck boil or a hairy cheek mole.  I will admit that at first I just thought they would snap out of it, then I realized the Bulls had placed lids on the baskets.  That doesn't seem fair, but oh, well.  It's as if every member of the Mavs squad saved up all their sucky basketball for one simultaneous game, kind of like that myth about girls in sorority houses eventually winding up on the same menstrual cycle.  This in no way suggests that women's menstrual cycles are as awful as the Mavericks played against the Bulls.  It's a wondrous miracle of nature, and I admire and support all women for the gifts that they possess.  In fact, I admire it so much that my fan club, and the organization that will be producing The (Blue and) White Album is called Maximum People Admiring The Dude, or MAXI-P.A.D. for short.
• Eventually, I will learn to stop talking before I've said too much.  Hopefully before that happens, I will realize that when you are typing, you do have a backspace button.  But until that day comes, 3 Cheers is live, raw, unfiltered awesomeness.
• Here's how ESPN.com summed up the Mavs performance last night: "The Mavericks were 29-for-93 (.312) from the field at Chicago on Thursday, their second-lowest field-goal percentage in any game in the past eight seasons; they were 28-for-96 (.292) on November 9, 2004, at Orlando.  Josh Howard and Dirk Nowitzki were the two main culprits.  Howard was 4-for-20 (.200) from the field.  Only one player in Mavericks' history had a lower shooting percentage in a game in which he took at least 20 shots: Cedric Ceballos was 3-for-20 (.150) on November 29, 1999, against the Knicks.  Nowitzki scored 28 points despite making only 7-of-22 shots from the field (he was 12-for-13 from the foul line).  It's the most points that Nowitzki has ever scored in an NBA game in which he made fewer than one-third of his field-goal attempts. It's the first time this season that two NBA teammates each took at least 20 shots in a game while converting fewer than one-third of them."
• Now on to the All-Star Game voting.  I'm not blaming my loyal readers for not voting often enough.  I'm blaming the millions of ill-advised people that voted too often and voted for the wrong people.  True, it's a fan's game, so the fans should pick who they want to see.  But the fact that they pick people that they won't see and haven't seen because of injury reeks of stupidity.  It would be like if every girl (or guy) ages 18-32 voted Justin Timberlake for President of the United States even though he wasn't qualified, old enough or even slightly interested.  Shaquille O'Neal was voted as the starting center for the East.  He just played his first game this entire season because of injury and apathy this past week.  In fact, the voting deadline ended before Shaq ever even suited up for a game this year.  Yao Ming, who will miss the game because of a broken leg or something, was voted to start for the West by the billions of Chinese people who have access to the internet, which is to say, billions of Chinese people.  Because they probably don't know any other players in the league other than Yao's teammates, Tracy McGrady was voted to start as well.  McGrady's good, but he's also missed a large bulk of the year due to injury.  Kevin Garnett was voted to start.  Great player.  So good that he's single handedly lead his team to a .500 record and a fired coach.  Meanwhile, the best player on the each of the two best teams in the league, Dirk and Nash, both finished 4th in voting for their position.  Carmelo "I just missed 15 games because I sucker punched a player during a game" Anthony beat Dirk in fan voting.  Shane "Shar-Pei" Battier only finished 250,000 votes behind Dirk, and Dirk has more talent in one beautiful, golden lock of hair than Battier has in his whole, wrinkly-scalped body.  Nash got beat out by Allen Iverson, who brought over his Eastern Conference votes when he was traded to Denver from Philadelphia.  But hey, look on the bright side.  Erick Dampier finished 3rd in voting for the center position.  Don't mind that 3rd place was almost 825,000 votes behind 2nd place Amare Stoudemire, and over 2 million votes behind Yao.  I will probably rant some more about this when the coaches vote on the reserves, especially if Josh Howard is left off the team and if Dirk isn't inserted into the starting lineup in Yao's place by Phoenix Suns coach Mike D'antoni.  For now, I just want to say that this game is more than a spectacle.  It's a serious vote of which players are having the best seasons thus far this year.  They have entrusted the voting privilege to the "fans", so don't ruin it by making stupid, uneducated selections on players that have no business playing in the All-Star Game just because they're on the box of your favorite breakfast cereal.

I've decided that Dirk's solo effort will be a remake of the Neil Diamond classic "Sweet Caroline".  This one is called "Damn, Dirk is Fine".  This is not to be confused with the other Neil Diamond impersonators out there.  This one's all Dirk, all the way.  It goes a little something like this:

Where it began/A little town called Wurzberg/That's where my journey would begin

I met a teacher/That guy, he made me special/Made me a star, a wunderkind

Hands, touchin' ball/Reachin' up/Touchin' me/Touchin' net

Damn, Dirk is fine (bah bah dah)/Jumpshots never looked so good

I've been inclined (bah bah dah)/To claim I am the greatest on the hardwood

That's all you get for free.  I have to save something for the album, but I'm sure you can understand, now that you are forever sold on The (Blue and) White Album.  I've given you "Finals Funk" and now a little bit of "Damn, Dirk is Fine".  There's more to come, just you wait.  Now take a deep breath and realize that the Mavs lost last night.  Do you feel bad?  No, you don't.  Why?  Because The Dude makes it all better, that's why.  Don't be scared.  As soon as you start humming this song in your head, you'll feel right as rain.  Go Mavs.

The (Blue and) White Album

The Beatles made records.  The Mavs break records.  The only thing that is keeping this phenomenal start to the season from being the talk of all national sports media is that the Phoenix Suns are breaking records at a nearly symmetrical pace to the Mavs.  The only thing keeping the Mavs' torrid winning streaks they are racking up this year from dominating local Dallas radio and television chatter is because we have the Cowboys, and if the Cowboys hired a new equipment manager, they would get top billing on the 6:00 news.  Have no fear, the Dude is here, keeping you involved in the Mavs methodical pummeling of most opponents.  I mean, who broke the "Finals Funk" story?  That's what I thought.  I will begin compiling a track list of the other songs that will be available on the Mavs debut album, which of course will be referred to as The (Blue and) White Album.  I will have that information to you later.  First I have to report the breaking news that the Cowboys have decided to start using a new, polyfiber, synthetic rubber thread for the inseam of their offensive linemen's pants.  We will now return you to your usual programming already in progress.

3 CHEERS: MAVS 111 @ MAGIC 95

DIRK'S DIGITS!

Who can resist this face?  Clearly not the likes of Hedo Turkoglu, who's not shy about showing his true feelings towards opposing players.  Neither can Darko Milicic, who enjoys the close embrace of a tall Euro.  Especially not Dwight Howard, who likes long walks on the beach, Eskimo kisses and a man with a reputation like Kobe's.  That must be how Dirk got as close to a triple-double as he ever has before.  That must explain how Dirk could play the majority of his first half minutes as our point guard and not only not make a fool of himself but succeed with flying colors.  He just batted those eyes and flashed that dirty mouthpiece smile, and the Magic defenders laid down (figuratively) for him.  Dirk scored 33 points on 12 of 17 shooting (9 of 10 from the line), grabbed 10 rebounds and distributed 8 assists.

1. Josh Howard - Howard picked up all the Dirk groupies from the Magic roster that Dirk didn't want for himself.  Howard wooed them with his poetry and coupons for a free teeth whitening from Apple Orthodontics.  That was enough to seduce the Magic into allowing him to score 25 points almost effortlessly on 9 of 18 shooting (2 of 6 from 3, 5 of 5 from the line).  He also managed 4 boards, 2 assists and a steal.

2. Jason Terry - Since defenders are taking away his mid-range shot lately, he's stepped up his assist totals and 3 point shooting to compensate.  That leads to a line like this: 5 of 15 shooting, but 4 of 9 from the 3 point line, totaling 14 points, 4 boards, 6 assists and a steal.  I mean, the Magic were just suckers for his warm, inviting smile.

3. DeSeganga Diop - Since the rest of the people on the court played relatively mediocre games offensively, I will honor a good defensive effort by the dreamy Diop.  I hear they call him the Senegalese Sweetie.  Since Dampier couldn't keep his hands to himself, he picked up some early fouls and allowed Diop some extra time for the court and the courtship.  4 points and 5 boards aren't too impressive, but 3 steals and 3 blocks were key to keeping the Magic at bay when they started making a run in the 3rd quarter.

RANDOM CRAP!

• The early East coast start time meant that I had to listen to the first quarter of the game on the radio on my way home.  I'm sorry, but that's not a good breeding ground for funny.  I'll have to wait until I get home.
• Home doesn't disappoint.  My daughter had just thrown a big enough fit before I got home that her mother relented and made exactly what my daughter wanted for dinner.  What delectable meal was so important that my daughter fussed and moaned about?  Ice cream?  Candy?  Mountain Dew Soup?  Nope.  A cup of beef-flavored, instant Raman Noodles.  Mmmm, now that's good Raman!  She apparently will buy a lava lamp and move into her dorm room within the next few weeks.
• I have a lot of respect for Grant Hill.  He was the Dwyane Wade of the mid-90's, the clean-cut superstar that was supposed to pick up Jordan's torch and become the new, wholesome face of the league.  He was the multi-talented, intelligent, athletic son of a former Dallas Cowboy.  He won two national championships at the then-pristine Duke University (the lacrosse team kind of smeared some doody on that image recently).  For his first 6 seasons in the league, all with Detroit, he was one of the top 10 players in the league and did it all over the court, points, assists, rebounds, steals, blocks, you name it.  But in 2000, what seemed like a harmless ankle sprain would spiral into a 6 year ordeal of injuries, surgeries and a staph infection in his leg from which he nearly died, spent 6 months recovering in the hospital and still bears a long scar down his shin from.  He's healthier than he's been in half a decade now, and he's still playing the game he loves.  His glory days have most definitely passed, but I admire him for sticking with it to complete his recovery and get back on the court so he can leave on his own terms when he's ready.  A player of his caliber and character deserves no less.
• Bob Ortegal makes a stunning observation about Dirk Nowitzki.  When The General subs him out of the game, Dirk runs back to the bench rather than walking like some guys trying to get more face time on Sports Center.  Interesting note, and one that I think lends itself to the lack of national respect and recognition there is for Dirk's game.  He only lets his game do the talking.  You don't see him hot dogging on the court, showing up opponents or teammates, doing commercials for every Fortune 500 company like Peyton Manning, and so on.
• Devin Harris just disclosed that for every pregame meal, he eats a Caesar salad, smoked salmon and mashed potatoes.  Yum.  I think I would make my pregame meal a part of my game, something to add a little extra to my court presence.  I would eat 5 raw onions right before every game and make a point to talk to my opponents in a very close proximity using only words that contain "H" sounds.  "Hey!  How's it going?  Hard getting to the Hoop tonight?  Hairy Herbert Harbors Hateful Horses.  Hairy Herbert Harbors Hateful Horses."  I think it would give me an edge.
• Who's house?  Stackhouse!  Stack gets thrown to the floor, and of course the refs don't blow the whistle.  Stack hops up immediately and starts yelling at the refs.  Technical foul on Stack.  I understand the "no whining" rule to keep guys like Tim Duncan and Dikembe Mutumbo from complaining to all 3 refs all game long after every possession about how they were fouled 10 times in 5 seconds or how they couldn't possibly have fouled the guy who's still lodged in their half Nelson hold.  The problem is that the refs don't enforce it on the players the rule was designed for, the habitual whiners.  They use it on players that argue once and usually have a considerable gripe when they do it.  At least give a guy that just got thrown to the ground without a foul call a few seconds to get it off his chest.  If he drags it out too long, then yeah, T him up, but you have to realize that Stack was not going to give an "Aww, shucks, that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes, but at least I have a family that loves me" response in that situation.
• The Minnesota Timberwolves have fired their head coach, and personally it's a shame.  When you have a roster of 1 great player, 6 guys that you couldn't pick out of a lineup as the professional basketball players even while they were in uniform, and 5 others that you would pick out of a lineup because they are prime suspects in a recent bank heist.  So how is that the coach's fault?  As it stands right now, the Timberwolves are about a .500 club and are right on the cusp of making the playoffs if the season ended today (of course that would make them the Mavs first-round spank toy).  If you put them in the Atlantic division in the Eastern Conference with their current record, they would be tied for the division lead.  So how is that the coach's fault?  I guess my point is, the average amount of time a coach spends with an NBA team before he gets canned is maybe 2 seasons.  That figure was in no way researched, but I bet I'm pretty close.  Meanwhile, the Mavs have had only 2 coaches in the last decade.  That's not just a credit to the coaches we've had, but the management that has stuck with them, the evaluators that have found the best talent available for the team to succeed, and the owner that has opened his wallet for the talent and the coaches and trusted his basketball minds to make basketball decisions.  Consider yourselves lucky that not only do you have a good team, but you have a stable franchise to boot.
• I caught an interview with "Thunder" Dan Majerle, former Suns player and current Suns color analyst.  Thunder Dan (totally biased) says Steve Nash is this year's MVP so far.  The Dude (extremely unbiased) says Dirk is this year's MVP so far.  Clearly, Thunder Dan hasn't gazed into Dirk's eyes.  I mean, who could deny this guy the MVP?

So I'm mulling over the concept of The (Blue and) White Album.  Since The White Album was a concept album, although not as conceptual as the previous Magical Mystery Tour, which in turn was not nearly as conceptual as its predecessor, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band, I think I will string something together Live Aid style for the Mavs.  Maybe each player gets his own solo song, and then "Finals Funk" is their big, "We Are The World" style collaboration.  I'll get back to you on that one because I'm still not sure if each player will sing an original tune (penned by The Dude) or maybe a cover song with the words slightly altered to fit their style (penned by The Dude with inspirational credit given to the original artist with the understanding that I won't share a penny of the royalties with them).  The Mavs are on TNT tonight to play the Bulls in Chicago.  That means it's an earlier start than normal, kicking off at 7:00 pm CST.  Print off the lyrics to "Finals Funk" and when you see a Mavs player on your television screen, read their line and imagine them rapping it.  I think I might be sitting on a gold mine here.  Go Mavs!

Mav-ical Mystery Tour

Thanks to my buddy, Ricky, I have finally realized why the Mavs didn't win the Finals last year.  They didn't make their own version of a brash, bold, cheesy rap video declaring their dominance above all others.  I don't want to hear that it was done right the first time.  The Mavs could do better:

We are the Mavs, running the court/Beating all the teams like we own the sport/A jumper, a trey, maybe even a dunk/The Mavs are gonna hit you with some Finals Funk

My name is Dirk, and I'm a German/My smooth jumpshot leaves the defenses squirmin'/They call me Stack, and I don't take jack/Driving the lane like a Cadillac/The JET is on the runway, and I move faster/If you can't keep up, your team's facing disaster/Some call me J-Ho, and I wear braces/You can see them when I smile as I dunk in y'all's faces/I'm Devin Harris, and I play with flair/Even though I can't grow facial hair/Dampier here, I don't always impress/But please don't boo, because I'm trying my best/Devean George, I want you to know me/I'm just glad I don't have to play with Kobe/You can call me Croshere, it's the name I prefer/'Cause I'm not pleased with all the other names I've heard/DeSagana Diop, they call me the cop/'Cause I'm slowin' down opponents like a traffic stop/We're Buckner and Johnson, we try to stay hot/We still suit up for the Mavs, in case you forgot/I'm DJ Mbenga, basketball fun/Not good rhyming, I sit down now

We are the Mavs, running the court/Beating all the teams like we own the sport/A jumper, a trey, maybe even a dunk/The Mavs are gonna hit you with some Finals Funk!

"Finals Funk" performed by The Mavs, lyrics by The Dude, funky bass line and dope record scratching by Avery Johnson, super fresh beatboxing by Del Harris, produced by Mark Cuban and Dr. Dre

Speaking of the Finals, the Mavs won't admit it publicly, but that win on Sunday in Miami felt good.  I know it felt good to me, and I'm pretty confident that the Mavs and I are perfectly aligned emotionally.  In fact, if the Mavs were writing this blog, it would go a little something like this:

3 CHEERS: MAVS 99 @ HEAT 93

DIRK'S DIGITS!

You can say what you will about Miami's record this year, the strength of the conference they play in, the injuries they've had, or the lack of emotion they've shown in defending their title; Miami came to play in this game.  They gave the Mavs their most inspired and motivated showing of the season so far.  So what does that say about the Mavs holding them off for the win?  To me, all it says is that the Mavs were and are the better team, but the Mavs suffered a major case of the yips last June and allowed a hungry opponent an opportunity to steal one away from them.  Of more importance, it tells me that the Mavs are even better this year, because they won this game with Dirk being the 4th best player on the court.  He totaled 22 points on 10 of 23 shooting, and grabbed 11 boards.  Solid game, but not the star, not by far.  But the Mavs still prevailed.  Good sign.

1. Dwyane Wade - The Golden Boy played his butt off in this one, and *shock and awe* single-handedly went to the line half as many times as the entire Mavs squad did.  Before last year's Finals, I proclaimed Wade as my favorite non-Mav to watch, which would technically make him my 16th favorite player behind all 15 current Mavs from Dirk to Pops Mensah-Bonsu.  After the Finals, I think I denounced him as my 16th favorite player, but I was angry.  I spoke in the heat of the moment (no pun intended), and I said some things I didn't mean.  I don't think I've healed enough to keep personal feelings out of it, so I can't put him back at 16 again, but maybe in my top 20?  It may be too soon.  That's what my therapist says, anyway.  Oh, by the way, Wade scored 31 points on 12 of 21 shooting, which 6 boards, 6 assists and 2 steals.

2. Josh Howard - "Some call me J-Ho, and I wear braces/You can see them when I smile as I dunk in y'all's faces" - excerpt from "Finals Funk" by The Mavs (lyrics by The Dude).  That copy of the lyrics is from the more radio-friendly, shorter version of the song.  The original version goes about as long as an Iron Butterfly B-Side track, pushing 22 minutes.  In it, Howard goes into a solo rap, in which he further explains his need for braces, how his incisors were growing into his bicuspids, and telling you to mention his name the next time you visit an Apple Orthodontics for a free toothbrush and dental floss.  Trust me, it sounds more poetic on the vinyl than it reads on the page.  On a national broadcast, Howard further stated his case for a spot on the All-Star team.  He scored 25 points (9 of 18 shooting, 2 of 5 from 3, 5 of 7 free throws), grabbed 9 boards, and notched 3 assists and 2 steals.

3. Jerry Stackhouse - Who's house?  Stackhouse!  I know AJ wants to keep Stack around 20 to 25 minutes a game for most of the season, and I can live with that if it keeps him fresh for the playoffs.  I can also live with it if he's going to continue to average about a point a minute like he's been doing lately.  In 25 minutes, Stack had 23 points on 10 of 16 shooting.  He also grabbed 3 boards and 2 steals.

RANDOM CRAP!

• The NBA is trying to clean up its thug image, and present a more palatable product to the average American.  They already have the die-hards (the Dude) locked in, but instituting a player dress code, stiffening penalties for brash on-court and off-court behavior, and forcing players and management to keep their licenses and vehicle registrations current (that's not a joke.  I wish I had come up with something that funny, but it's for real.) is part of the plan to present a more wholesome, family-friendly product to the casual fan.  Well, nothing screams good, clean, wholesome family fun like the new NBA on ABC opening featuring The Pussycat Dolls.  Not only did they choose a gimmicky pop group with scantily-clad women to preform the introduction to their national broadcast, but the song sucks and the one girl wearing (a much smaller and tighter version of) a Mavs jersey is wearing the gray one that we wore for one game 4 years ago and haven't worn since.  If you are going to hypocritically and simultaneously promote piety and pole dancers, at least get the details right.  And try not to make the song suck so bad while you're at it.
• Coming back from a timeout, ABC has some of its biggest stars on the network telling me how much I should love the NBA, and how I would never stop watching ABC when the NBA is on.  Hey look!  It's Jim Belushi.  He's so funny on that show about the crazy things that happens to a man that has a family.  You know, Home Improvement.  No, wait, it's Everybody Loves Raymond.  Nope, maybe it's The Cosby Show.  Oh well, whatever it's called, I'm sure that it's almost as hilarious as the fake, canned laughter leads me to believe it is, and in no way is it unoriginal in origin.  Hey, look at that!  It's Eva Longoria!  I'm not even watching a F**kin' Spurs game and I have to see Eva Longoria on my television screen!  Make it stop!  Oh, I have Tivo, I can just fast forward.  Thank God.
• So much for Tivo.  I was running a little behind on the recorder due to an unexpected bathroom break, and while I was inactive, my 22-month-old daughter, Payton, grabbed the remote and changed the channel, deleting the memory of the game that I had been saving.  I missed most of the 2nd quarter as a result.  In case you were wondering, it was only a single-flusher and all is well.
• Josh Howard hit a jumper in the 3rd quarter, the Heat coach said something to him, Howard said something back, and the refs gave Howard a technical.  According to Howard and the Heat coach, it wasn't trash talk or even a heated debate over the importance of thermo-nuclear energy.  The ref just saw Howard saying something towards the Heat bench, jumped to a conclusion, and decided to put Howard one bad whistle away from ejection and award a free throw to the Heat.  All for not knowing what was going on to begin with.  Maybe the league should look into cleaning this part of the game up to attract viewers that can't understand the rules of the NBA because the refs change them from game to game and blow whistles based on personal opinion, assumptions and perceptions rather than by-the-book, cold, hard facts.
• On that same note, towards the end of the game when the Heat were getting really close, Howard came off a screen and traveled with the ball.  It was an obvious travel, and even Howard paused for a second waiting for the whistle.  But the whistle didn't come.  The ref that was standing right on the sideline, not 15 unobstructed feet from Howard, either didn't see it or didn't feel like enforcing it . . . until all the spectators seated about 2 feet behind him jumped up and started yelling in his ear that it was a travel and he blew the call.  The ref, with his stoic demeanor and rock solid resolve, was swayed by the crowd to change his mind on the situation, and blew the whistle on the travel violation roughly 3 seconds after the fact.  To be honest, I don't even know what upsets me the most about this scenario, so I just won't even go into it.
• In typical Dwyane Wade fashion, he throws his body into the middle of a scrum for the ball, comes out limping like his leg has been severed at the tibia, dramatically hobbles to the locker room, then emerges about 3 minutes later like a spring chicken to dash about the court and score 31 points.  I remember him doing this during the Finals while he was averaging about 40 points a game.  Just a little advice if you want to move back up to 16th on my list: the reason Willis Reed is remembered for his walk onto the court at the start of game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals despite a torn thigh muscle is because he only did it once.  You do it every game.  Repetition and inspiration seldom ride the same buggy.  And that cute little part that you shaved into your hair in the shape of your jersey number (3), lose that.

We are the Mavs, running the court/Beating all the teams like we own the sport/A jumper, a trey, maybe even a dunk/The Mavs are gonna hit you with some Finals Funk!

Lennon/McCartney only wish they had penned such poetic rhymes.  Shoot, Run-DMC wish they had penned it.  Instead, The Dude penned it, and the world is better for it.  The Mavs record "Finals Funk", and they are breaking out of their Finals funk (somebody ring my literary symbolism bell - DING!).  Now if I can just convince the whole team (plus Dr. Dre) to get on board.  We could have a video out by April for our playoff run.  Then we can go on a Mav-ical Mystery Tour.  I am the walrus.  Go Mavs!

The Dude's Super Spectacular Mavs Mid-Season Report Card

It's Sunday night, and I'm sitting in my bed watching the Patriots-Colts game.  Normally, I type these blogs during my down time at my swing set store, but I'm thinking I need to cut back on that.  Just in case my bosses are reading this, I have never denied a customer any attention for the sake of this blog.  Quite remarkably, I have never denied a Mavs fan any attention of the sake of selling swing sets.  Yeah, I'm that good.

The Mavs hit the halfway mark with a record of 33-8, which ties the franchise record for most wins after 41 games.  The other team to win 33 games at the halfway point was the 2002-03 team.  That team started the year 14-0, but slowly lost steam at the end of the season.  Now, it's hard to say that a team lost steam when they finished with a franchise best 60-22 record at year's end, tied by last year's squad, but they allowed the Spurs to catch them at the end and win the division.  That caused that Mavs squad to travel a harder road in the playoffs, winning two 7-game series until they met the Spurs in the Western Conference Finals, losing in 6.  We all know what happened to last year's 60-22 team.  This year's team started 0-4 before rattling off 33 wins in their last 37 games.  So with all that said, I will grade the entire roster, every individual player, at the midway mark with grades based on both performance and expectations coming into the season.  I will also match them up with their counterpart from the 02-03 roster and proclaim if it was an upgrade, downgrade or a push.  You can probably already guess how most of those matchups will pan out.  Only three players from the 02-03 squad are still with us, and two of them are now coaches.  Here we go.

DIRK NOWITZKI (A): 02-03 counterpart - Dirk Nowitzki

I could give him an A+, but I don't want to appear biased.  Since I'm basing the grades on performance AND expectations, I think a solid A shows that he hasn't disappointed, and he's done everything that's been asked of him to near perfection.  The only reason I hesitate to add the plus to this grade is because he hasn't drastically improved.  You could argue that it's hard to drastically improve when you average 25 points and 10 rebounds over the last 3 years, made 1st team all-NBA two years in a row, and finished 3rd in MVP voting two years running.  He'll most likely make 1st team again, and might even have the inside track on winning the MVP this year.  Still, I give him an A, and I'm sticking to it.  There's plenty of pluses to go around for everyone.  Key Stats: 24.9 points/game, 9.5 rebounds/game.  06-07 Dirk: upgrade over 02-03 Dirk.

JOSH HOWARD (A+): 02-03 counterpart - Raef LaFrentz

Here's where the plus makes sense.  Howard has taken his game to another level this year, and if it weren't for the gluttony of fantastic players filling the forward position in the West, he would be a no-brainer for the All-Star team.  He has allowed Dirk to not have to carry the team all the time, and his growth offensively has forced opposing defenses to stray from double teaming Dirk on every possession.  He's taken a solid grasp as the second best player on the team.  Key Stats: 19.8 points/game, 7.2 rebounds/game, 1.26 steals/game.  06-07 Howard: upgrade over Raef LaFrentz, who never really had a position or consistent output during his stay here.

JASON TERRY (B+): 02-03 counterpart - Steve Nash

Terry slips into B status only because I was expecting more from him this year.  This grade should rise by season's end now that they are getting the ball into Terry's hands more often.  Most importantly, he's become a facilitator of the offense and gradually increased his assists total in the last week.  Don't discount how much he has taken to Avery Johnson, to the point where he has proclaimed himself the new "Lil' General", and become a strong locker room voice.  Key Stats: 15.8 points/game, 5.3 assists/game.  06-07 Terry: downgrade from Steve Nash.  Nash has gone on to solidify his place in the Hall of Fame, winning consecutive MVP awards since he left.  That's not an indictment of Terry's production, it's just a very high bar to compare to.

DEVIN HARRIS (A-): 02-03 counterpart - Michael Finley

Harris gets an A- only because he still hasn't played consistently.  He's either very effective, or he disappears for long stretches of the game.  I also expect his score to rise by the end of the season as he gets comfortable learning that he doesn't have to go 150 miles an hour all the time, much like Tony Parker did a few years ago when he made great strides in his game.  Key Stats: 10.5 points/game, 48% shooting from the field.  06-07 Harris: downgrade from 02-03 Michael Finley.  Harris is an upgrade compared to today's Finley, but the 02-03 Finley was a 25 point/game threat every night.  Harris hasn't reached that level yet.

JERRY STACKHOUSE (A): 02-03 counterpart - Nick Van Exel

Stackhouse gets an A because when he does play, he provides exactly what we need off the bench.  He doesn't get a plus, because he's not able to play every night and can only get 20 minutes on average without breaking down again.  Still, his tough-nosed attitude brings another dimension to the outlook, maturity and veteran leadership of the squad.  Key Stats: 10.8 points/game, 83% free throw shooting.  06-07 Stackhouse: upgrade over Nick Van Exel.  Technically I should have compared Stack to Finley, and Harris to Van Exel based on position, but I decided to base it on their roles with the team.  Stack and Van Exel were relied on to be our 6th man and provide quick offensive punch off the bench.  Stack has more dimensions to his game right now than Van Exel did then.

ERICK DAMPIER (B+): 02-03 counterpart - Shawn Bradley

Dampier has taken back his starting spot from DeSagana Diop this year, and has done a better job of staying out of foul trouble early, which plagued him last year.  The team has grown more comfortable with involving him in the offense at important points in the game.  His ability to keep the majority of opposing big men from having huge nights against us speaks volumes to the constant improvement in team defense this year.  Key Stats: 7.8 points/game, 8.1 rebounds/game, 1.26 blocks/game, 63% shooting.  06-07 Dampier: upgrade over Shawn Bradley.  Do you need an explanation?

DEVEAN GEORGE (A): 02-03 counterpart - Raja Bell

He shook off a shaky start while trying to get years of Phil Jackson's triangle offense out of his psyche, and he has come on of late to provide Stackhouse-like production off the bench offensively.  More importantly, he's willing to play wherever and however Avery wants him to play.  That has allowed us to send multiple defenders and double teams at the high-scoring guards that litter the league and used to light us up for big points and heartbreaking losses.  Key Stats: 6.3 points/game, 38% 3 point shooting.  06-07 George: upgrade over Raja Bell.  Bell provided good, hard defense for us, but he wasn't nearly as prolific offensively with us as he is now with the Suns.  Defenses could basically play us 5 on 4 defensively when he was in the game.  They can't do that with George.

GREG BUCKNER (B): 02-03 counterpart - Adrian Griffin

Buckner gets a B only because I was expecting a little more offensive punch from him.  He hasn't received steady playing time, and when he does play, he gets it done on the defensive end.  He's still a reliable scoring threat, but he has been passing up a lot of opportunities as if he feels bad taking a shot when Dirk, Howard, Terry and Stack are on the floor with him.  I bet he grows more comfortable as the season goes on (and Avery yells at him about it).  Key Stats: 4.4 points/game, 40% shooting, 84% free throw shooting.  06-07 Buckner: upgrade over Griffin.  I loved Griffin in 02-03, and I loved him last year.  However, he was kind of our Raja Bell when he was on the floor.  Great defender, offensive liability.  Buckner has the ability to be better all around once he stops passing on open looks.

ANTHONY JOHNSON (B): 02-03 counterpart - Avery Johnson

Anthony Johnson also gets a B due to sporadic playing time.  It's not his fault that Harris has taken the starting spot and not looked back.  However, when duty calls, Johnson answers the bell.  Look for his minutes to increase gradually towards the end of the year to get him in a groove.  He will be called upon often during the playoffs when we need a solid, slow-down point guard to set up our more playoff-friendly half court offensive sets.  Key Stats: 4.1 points/game, 38% 3 point shooting, less than 2 turnovers/game.  06-07 Johnson: upgrade over Avery Johnson.  This is Johnson as a player, not as the current head coach.  The General was basically our 12th man in 02-03 and already attending coaches meetings and being involved in running practices and breaking down film.  Anthony plays more, and will be a stronger asset come playoff time than The General, who was left off the playoff roster that year.

AUSTIN CROSHERE (C+): 02-03 counterpart - Eduardo Najera

I didn't expect much from Croshere when he came in here, but seeing as how he was traded for one of our more electrifying players (Marquis Daniels), I was hoping for at least similar production as Keith Van Horn last year.  He's actually been worse.  I don't doubt that come playoff time, we can use him to spell Dirk and use his 6 fouls to send poor-shooting big men to the line.  Still, I was hoping for more, and he just hasn't delivered.  G2000 is partially to blame with his surprising ability to play the power forward spot behind Dirk, which is the only place Croshere can get his playing time.  Key Stats: 2.9 points/game, 2.6 rebounds/game, 100% free throw shooting (he's 8 for 8, but he's still perfect!).  06-07 Croshere: push with Eduardo Najera.  Najera wasn't much more reliable offensively or even defensively, but his hustle and ethnicity made him a fan favorite that could get the entire crowd into the game with one dive to the floor.  Croshere's about as plain as an undressed baked potato.

DESAGANA DIOP (C+): 02-03 counterpart - Popeye Jones

Diop has taken a major step back this season, losing his starting spot and losing a lot of his timing on blocked shots, which has lead to foul trouble.  It's ironic that the main reason he started last year was because Damp couldn't stay out of foul trouble.  The roles are reversed this year.  He's still getting his blocks, and now that he's built a little bit of a reputation for it, he forces guys to think twice before driving the lane, or if they dare, they alter their shots to avoid the block.  That leads to misses which leads to rebounds which leads to fast break opportunities.  Key Stats: 4.7 rebounds/game, 1.4 blocks/game (in only 16 minutes/game).  06-07 Diop: upgrade over Popeye Jones.  Jones is the other constant here, serving as an assistant coach who is credited with Damp and Diop's better ball handling and pass catching skills this year.  Still, Diop on his worst day can bring more than Popeye could in 02-03.  He's also better looking, which isn't saying much.  I'm not saying Popeye's ugly, I'm just saying I would use his picture to find dates on match.com.

DJ MBENGA (C+): 02-03 counterpart - Evan Eschmeyer

Now we are starting to get into nitpick area.  Mbenga doesn't play much, and will play for two reasons and two reasons only this year: both of our centers went brain dead and wound up in major foul trouble, or we need a big body to waste 6 fouls on a guy like Yao Ming or Shaq.  I think he might still develop into a quality backup, but Diop's improvement last year stunted some of Mbenga's opportunities to get on the court and improve.  Key Stats: played a total of 57 minutes this year, which is the equivalent of less than 5 full quarters of basketball, but he's 4 of 4 from the free throw line so 100% free throw shooting!  06-07 Mbenga: upgrade over Evan Eschmeyer.  Esch should never have been signed to this team, but he was a knee jerk, Don Nelson signing.  He rarely played due to injury, so 57 minutes of Mbenga is still better than Esch.  I wish Esch the best of luck in his post-NBA career.

MAURICE AGER (I): 02-03 counterpart - Walt Williams

Ager gets an I for incomplete because he's spent most of this year either riding the bench or playing in the D-League.  I think the Mavs really think they've gotten a solid contributor off the bench, but he needs playing time to learn the nuances of the game.  That won't happen unless we start blowing teams out on a regular basis, or he spends more time in the D-League, on summer league teams, and sticks around Dallas in the offseason to work with our coaches.  Key Stats: 1.2 points/game, actually played in 18 games this year, be it for only 3.9 minutes/game.  06-07 Ager: downgrade from Walt Williams.  Williams was a mid-season pickup that contributed a decent amount of offense in the postseason that year.  Williams was on the downside of his career, so give Ager a few more seasons and this won't be a downgrade anymore.

JOSE JUAN BAREA (I): 02-03 counterpart - Tariq Abdul-Wahad

Another rookie that has spent time in the D-League due to lack of playing time.  He must have something, because I was surprised the Mavs chose to start the season with Barea, a point guard on a team with 3 quality point guards, instead of Pops Mensah-Bonsu, a young big dude like those that are farmed and developed in this league like blue ribbon tomatoes for the 4-H club.  Odds are that this guy winds up being a throw in to make a trade work either at the deadline or next offseason, but for now he's got a chance to learn from some of the best.  Key Stats: Gets to sit in one of the best seats in the house to witness the best team in the NBA.  06-07 Barea: upgrade over Abdul-Wahad.  Abdul-Wahad was a huge contract that rarely played due to injuries.  He never worked with the team or its trainers, and basically sat in his home country of France collecting millions for doing nothing.  At least Barea is on a league rookie minimum to do nothing.

POPS MENSAH-BONSU (I): 02-03 counterpart - Antoine Rigaudeau

Has spent pretty much all year in the D-League, but if the Mavs find a way to retain his rights after this year, he might be worth hanging on to for trade purposes.  Like I said, everyone loves a big man regardless of their skill set.  Key Stats: actually played in one game this year, logging 3 minutes and pulling down a rebound.  That's it.  06-07 Mensah-Bonsu: push with Antoine Rigaudeau.  Rigaudeau was supposed to be the Michael Jordan of French basketball, but by the time he decided to cross the pond and join the NBA, he was in the twilight of his career.  He gave us nothing, but came in with a promising pedigree.  At least Pops didn't have expectations.  If Rigaudeau was the Jordan of French basketball, then I'm the Hemingway of Mavs blogs.  Actually, scratch that.  I am the Hemingway of Mavs blogs.  Rigaudeau just sucked.

So there you have it.  The Dude's Super Spectacular Mavs Mid-Season Report Card.  Sorry if it's short on funny, but this is where 3 Cheers started.  I used to send out an email to a very select group of fellow Mavs fans with preseason, midseason and postseason report cards.  That gave way to the 3 Cheers emails from last year's playoff run, which gave way to the blog that you read now.  Call it going back to my roots.  I'll hit you back tomorrow with the review of the first game of the second half, a rematch with the stinking Miami Heat.  Until then, Go Mavs!

General Avery's Lonely Mavs Club Band

General Avery's Lonely Mavs Club Band isn't that lonely at all.  They pride themselves on teamwork, or as you might say, they get by with a little help from their friends.  You have to admit they're getting better, getting better all the time, and when something goes wrong, well, they go right back to fixing a hole.  Being for the benefit of Mr. Cuban, when he's sixty-four who knows how many rings they'll have.  Of course, those rings will be championship rings in the sky with diamonds.  Now they're leaving home for a 3 game road trip, where they will get a chance to go toe to toe with the lovely Heat-a, team of Wade.  They'll be within you even if they're without you, so wake up early Sunday, have a good morning, good morning, and enjoy a day in the life of General Avery's Lonely Mavs Club Band.

3 CHEERS: MAVS 114 vs. LAKERS 95

DIRK'S DIGITS!

Dirk backed up all the recent MVP talk by going on national television and outplaying the guy, Kobe, that some say is his closest competition for the award.  Dirk only had to play 37 minutes, but he managed 27 points on 11 of 18 shooting, with 2 of 3 from the 3 line.  He decided to throw in 10 rebounds, 3 assists, a steal and a block.  Not a bad night's work.

1. Josh Howard - Two MVP candidates on the floor, and this guy outplays them both.  Howard started hot and kept it going all night long.  He, too, only needed 37 minutes to score 29 points on 12 of 23 shooting, with a slightly ugly 2 of 7 from the 3 line.  He made up for that with 11 boards, including 4 offensive, 5 assists, 2 steals, a block, and solid defense on Kobe for most of the night.  About the only thing he didn't have a hand in during the game was wiping the sweat off the floor during stops in play.  He might have done it, but I didn't see it.

2. Kobe Bryant - No truth to the rumor that when Kobe checked into the hotel, he asked the concierge if this was the place where the service bent over backwards for you.  Kobe had a solid game, and thankfully, he tried too hard to get his teammates involved early.  By the time he realized he needed to take the game over for himself, it was too late.  Not that he didn't try, as 26 points on 8 of 18 shooting, including 10 of 11 from the foul line, would suggest.  The 5 assists show how he tried to get his teammates involved.  The 6 turnovers show when he tried to win it himself.  That's about all the good stuff I will say about Kobe for now.

3. Anthony Johnson - This was a tough one because so many guys came to play.  Should I give it to the Mavs centers, because Dampier and Diop combined for 4 points, 18 rebounds (9 offensive) and 6 blocks?  Should I give it to Devean George for being the last minute starter in place of Devin Harris (flu), scoring 14 points on his old team on 7 of 10 shooting with 6 rebounds?  Should I give it to Jason Terry for scoring 12 points and tossing out 13 assists?  Should I give it to Stackhouse for not only scoring 11 points in 15 minutes, but singing the national anthem before the game?  I decided to give it to Anthony Johnson, though.  He doesn't get to play much because Harris and Terry have done so well together this year.  But when the moment arose, he stepped to the plate and filled in admirably.  A solid 23 minutes of running the offense and providing lock down defense on Smush Parker, resulting in 11 points, 3 boards and 3 assists.  In other words, the whole team pitched in on this one.

RANDOM CRAP!

• This game had a little of everything for Mavs fans:
• #1: Mavs beat the Lakers.  Under any circumstances, this is delightful.
• #2: Mavs beat the Lakers like a rented mule.  Take delightful, then add free beer to it.
• #3: Mavs beat the Lakers, the team that boasts one of Dirk's MVP competitors in Kobe. Take delightful, add free beer, then add some never ending waffles and maple syrup.
• #4: Mavs beat the Lakers, the team that broke up our 13 game win streak, and the only team to beat us in the last 38 days.  Delightful, free beer, waffles and syrup, and a pile of cash in unmarked, non-sequential bills.
• #5: Mavs beat the Lakers and Kobe like a rented mule to avenge the only loss they have had in 5 1/2 weeks on national television and gaining the respect and love of Charles Barkley, known Mavs nay-sayer.  Delightful, free beer, waffles, syrup, piles of cash all piled into the back of a fully restored, all-expense paid, pimped out and maxed out '64 2-door Chevy Impala convertible.
• Speaking of Barkley, at halftime, with the game not yet completely out of hand, he proclaimed the Mavs as the best team in the league and that they would run away with this game "like they stole something."  After the game, he looked busy writing on a piece of paper.  They asked what he was doing, and he claimed that he was trying to figure out a way to ensure that Howard made the All-Star team and Dirk won the MVP.  He also took time to make fun of Southwest Airlines.  When they mentioned that the Lakers got into Dallas in the wee hours of the morning after flying from San Antonio after a game the night before, Barkley said that if they flew Southwest, they didn't come from San Antonio.  They probably went from San Antonio to Houston to El Paso to Lubbock to Dallas.
• I have decided, based on my comparison of Devean George to the T1000 cyborg from Terminator, that I will call him G2000.  To keep you up to speed, Dirk Nowitzki will be referred to as Dirk.  Josh Howard will be Howard, not J-Ho.  Jason Terry will be JET.  Erick Dampier will be Damp.  Jerry Stackhouse will be Stack.  All other players will be referred to by their normal last names.
• Avery Johnson will either be AJ or The General.  He won't be Lil' General anymore, because he's the big dog now.  In fact, JET claims that his goal this season is to learn enough from AJ to assume the title of the new Lil' General.  Anthony Johnson said about AJ that he didn't know someone so small could be so mean.
• The General started subbing early in this game which proved to be his game plan.  7 guys played at least 23 minutes and no one played more than 37.
• Quick ref talk, which is now becoming a constant: at one point early in the first half, Kobe gets a rebound on the defensive end.  I guess he's upset about a no-call, although I didn't see anything.  Everyone, EVERYONE, has run down to the other end of the court, but Kobe just stands there with the ball in a menacing, defiant pose staring down the official.  I would normally say he's dumb because when he finished his little protest, he only had 2 seconds to race the ball over the half court line.  I would normally say the ref should have at least given him some sort of a warning, if not a technical just to make a point, but Kobe never said anything to them so they didn't really have a reason to T him up.  But I guess it paid off because the very next time Kobe drives to the basket, Howard barely bumps him and they give Kobe his whistle and free throws.  Now just to prove that I don't get on the refs when they're sandbagging the Mavs, Kobe later got hammered by JET without a foul call.  Terry got him so good that Kobe actually fell forward into JET.  The refs weren't paying close enough attention and all they saw was Kobe running into JET, so foul on Kobe.  Bad call.  If I'm defending Kobe here, then you know something was blatantly wrong.  Dick Bavetta is calling the game, and he's probably one of the best in the business.  Unfortunately, he's also one of the oldest in the business which means he won't be around the league much longer.  The problem refs are the younger ones that have a chip on their shoulders.  They played audio of Bavetta talking to players during the game and it's always very calm, very diplomatic, yet very assuring that he's the one in charge.  He'll hear you out, explain why he made the call he made, then tell you that he didn't see what you are talking about but he will make a point to keep an eye open for it from here on out.  That's exactly what a player wants and needs to hear to keep from escalating a situation.  It's too bad there aren't more refs like Dick Bavetta.
• I would like to issue a formal apology to Dikembe Mutumbo for my insensitive jokes about his age in the last post (Revolver: Live by the Run, Die by the Run - 1/18/07).  Apparently, Mutumbo isn't all that happy about them.  Instead I will talk about how he is such a humanitarian that he not only donates $15 million to build hospitals in the Congo, but he donates thousands of dollars in singles to the Gold Club regularly to fight "boredom".  Apologies all around.
• Please stop, I repeat, PLEASE STOP with the "Marry Me, Dirk" signs.  It's not only unoriginal and not at all clever, but it's about as likely to happen as the sign that I have sitting in my garage that reads "Dirk, If I Have To Have A Colonoscopy, I Would Want You To Administer The Procedure!"  Let's also desist with the "Dirk 4 President" signs.  I'm as big a fan of using numbers 2 replace words 2, but this 1 is getting old.  Let's be realistic.  Dirk can never be president because he's not a natural-born citizen, and you are voting for him before you even know his stance on campaign finance reform.  Duh.  Thanks 4 playing.
• Back to my previous rant in the last post about shooting air balls.  Vladimir Radmanovic just shot one and everyone comes down on him.  No big deal, I say.  If you're going to come down on him, come down on him for looking like he is better suited as a background participant in a 1984 Jazzercise video than as a professional basketball player.
• JET just tried to dunk the ball, but he missed and the ball bounced up out of the basket.  It knocks and pings around a bit, then falls through for the score.  JET plays it off cool as he runs back down the court, as if he meant to do that the whole time.
• A few awesome (yeah, I said it!  AWESOME!!) things that JET did mean to do came midway through the 3rd with the Mavs up 18.  JET knocks the ball away, which is tipped back to him by Damp.  JET starts running out on the fast break, then spots Howard slipping behind the coverage.  JET fires off a beautiful behind the back pass to Howard for the up and under lay in to put the Mavs up 20.  Very next Lakers possession, Howard pokes the ball loose, which rolls to Buckner.  Buckner finds JET leaking out, so he passes up to JET on the break.  The recovering defender collapses on JET, so he flings another highlight-worthy behind the back pass, this time to Dirk for the slam.  Mavs up 22 with momentum and only 6 minutes left in the 3rd.  One non-awesome play involving JET wasn't JET's fault.  Apparently feeling groovy about all the flashy assists he was tossing out, JET spotted Damp moving towards the basket.  JET tosses the ball up for an alley oop.  Problem was, Damp thought JET was actually shooting so he turns his back to box out for the rebound.  JET Alleyed, Damp didn't Oop.  Can't win them all.
• Kobe is starting to get really frustrated by the Mavs defensive intensity on him, which is probably intensified by the fact that they have been down an average of 20 points the entire 2nd half.  In fact, down 21 with about 3 minutes left in the game, Kobe just decides that if he can't win it, he wants to posterize someone.  He spins out and drives the lane for a monster throw-down jam.  Problem is, he slams the ball off the back iron, sending it flying out to midcourt where Anthony Johnson picks it up, out sprints his defender, and jams home a dunk of his own on the other end.  The camera captures the look on Kobe's face, and it is priceless.  It was a look like his feelings were hurt that he was losing, he was being contained, he was being embarrassed, and he was being shown up.  I will pause a moment if you need to grab a tissue to dab the tears.
• (Pause)
• Done sobbing?  Okay.  Kobe wiped his tears, too, and on the next play, after blowing a dunk that lead to a Mavs dunk and now down 23, he gets free, takes the entry pass, and pulls out an NBA All-Star Weekend Dunk Contest type 360 slam.  He comes down flexing his muscles with a mean scowl on his face like he just rocked the house down with a game deciding slam.  Not only do I think it's pathetic, but the whole crowd starts to boo and laugh at him.  It's so loud that you can hear it on the telecast.  Even the announcers were trying not to make too much fun of him in that situation.
• Want some more proof that Dirk deserves to be the MVP?  He goes for 27 and 10 without being the dominant player in the game.  He defers to the hot hand, be it Howard, JET, Stack, G2000, or even Anthony Johnson.  He genuinely supports his teammates' success, not just for the good of the team, to win the game or because that's what the coach preaches.  You get the feeling he supports them because he legitimately believes in everyone of them, he sincerely likes them as people in addition to teammates, and enjoys watching his whole team allow him to do what he does best and hoping that what he does best allows his teammates to succeed.  He also doesn't act like his carnival dunk at the end of a meaningless game in which he's getting blown out of is the end all, be all of crowd silencers and awe inspiring spectacles.
• My buddy, Ricky, got to go to the game and sit in some classy Dallas Observer seats in the ritzy Platinum section.  I asked for his thoughts on the game, and if he was one of those people booing Kobe after that dunk.  Here's what he said: I was booing Kobe every time he touched the ball.  My throat is actually a little sore today from it.  The most ridiculous thing was there were a bunch of Kobe fans at the game.  Not Laker fans, Kobe fans.  There were random people with homemade Kobe outfits all over the place.  As we were leaving the game, this one guy with some sort of striped uniform that had Kobe written all over in it in some sort of ugly spray paint look was actually talking smack to everyone.  He was a couple of people in front of me on the escalator, and he was yelling, “This is still Kobe’s house.  This is still Kobe’s house.  62 in 3 quarters. “  I yelled at him that we beat them by 30 (while it was not true, it seemed like it the way we dominated).  I tried to get some other people involved by offering high-fives while I yelled, but it did not really work out for me.  I’m going to see if I can find that guy's ridiculous outfit online.  Overall, awesome game to be at.  The Observer seats are pretty good, but they are kind of detached from the rest of the place.  They are on the front row of the platinum level where you have waiters and stuff, but I think I like the lower level seats better, and they are probably cheaper.  The tickets for these said $142 each for them, so I’d imagine you could get pretty close to the court for that, plus not have to be surrounded by a bunch of corporate assholes.
• Well said, Ricky.  Well said.  I'm sorry you couldn't garner up any high fives on the escalator while you were yelling back at the taunter.  Next time, finish your rebuttal, then turn to the surrounding crowd with your hand raised and a confident look on your face and simply say, "Up top!"  I would have also claimed to this obnoxious traitor that the 62 in 3 quarters didn't come in this house, it came in the Staples Center, and if it was still Kobe's house, then we just made him our chambermaid and told him sleep on the couch tonight.  Of course, I've had a few hours to think about that response, so in the heat of the moment, you did well, my friend.
• During the postgame show, they show a clip with Shane "Shar-Pei" Battier on the keys to drawing a charge.  As I'm watching this, I'm getting sick.  I know the Mavs do it, I know the coaches coach it, teach it, instruct it, etc.  I know it's perfectly legal, and in some ways viewed as a gutsy defensive play.  All that said, I think it's bush league, cheap and a cop-out way to play defense.  I can understand the rule at its root.  It's to keep a guy like Shaq from just running down a guy like Earl Boykins with no recourse on his way to the basket.  What it has evolved into, however, is a way for inferior, out of position defenders to cheat their way into stopping a drive by putting themselves and their opponents in potential harm's way.  If they do it right, they get the ball back and the other guy gets a foul on his stat sheet.  If they do it wrong, they usually wind up picking up a foul on themselves and maybe even wind up giving the opponent two free throws.  At the very worst, they call a foul on the defender, he flops back so hard that he slams his head on the court causing a concussion, the opponent gets two free throws, but has to hobble to shoot them because he tore his ACL and MCL while trying to break his fall after the defender came sliding out of nowhere to step in front of him at the last minute.  A rule's a rule, so if it works in the Mavs favor then I will celebrate it during the game, but I think it's a formerly well-intentioned rule that has been mutated into a cheap, dangerous defensive tactic designed to make poor, dirty, cheap-shot artists look like lockdown defenders.  I feel this way towards all players on all teams, too.  I wish the charge was used as it was intended, and officiated as it was intended.  That's the Dude's soapbox moment, brought to you by Pabst Blue Ribbon.  Pabst Blue Ribbon: If you need to get smashed, why not save cash?  Please drink responsibly.

I will try to get back at you guys in the next few days with a midseason report card on the team's progress.  Needless to say, the grades will be high.  Until then, sit back, relax, and enjoy the basketball stylings of General Avery's Lonely Mavs Club Band.  It was 20 months ago today, General Avery taught the band to play.  They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to bring a smile.  So may I introduce to you, the act you've known for all these years: General Avery's Lonely Mavs Club Band!  Go Mavs!

Revolver: Live by the Run, Die by the Run

Don't look now (I said don't look!), but after tonight's game the Mavs will be officially halfway through the 2006-2007 season.  They will wake up tomorrow with the best record in the NBA regardless of the outcome, with either 33 or 32 wins in the first 41 games, and a winning percentage of either .805 or .780.  You would think we were running away with it, right?  Well, the Phoenix Suns, a team that loves to run, is only a game behind us for best record in the league.  We both are the only teams with 30+ wins already.  We are the only teams still with single digit losses.  We are the only teams to boast 2 10+ game winning streaks in the first 3 months of the season.  The Mavs recently have been spotting teams a lead, then relying on a monster run in the latter stages of the game to take back the victory.  You can live by that or die by that.  The Suns will run you up and down the court and just hope that at the end of the game they have 1 more point than you do.  You can live by that or die by that.  Either way, watching these two teams should be fun over the next 41 games.  Now on to the Houston game.

3 CHEERS: MAVS 109 vs. ROCKETS 96

DIRK'S DIGITS!

Dirk got hot in the 4th when we needed him most, which has always been his calling card but has been building to the Nth degree of late.  That's how you win Player of the Week for the 2nd time this year.  In the last 8 1/2 minutes of this game, he scored 12 points to pretty much make up the point differential in the final score.  He totaled 30 points on 9 of 19 shooting, 2 of 4 from 3, 10 of 10 from the line, grabbed 10 boards, gave out 6 assists and snagged a steal.

1. Tracy McGrady - In only 40 minutes, T-Mac made 17 of 29 shots, 4 of 11 from 3, and 7 of 9 from the line.  That totaled 45 points, 5 rebounds, 7 assists, a steal and a block.  Dirk vs. T-Mac games are always exciting and this was no different.

2. Josh Howard - If not for Howard's fast start to this game, McGrady would have been running us out of the gym by the end of the 1st quarter.  Howard finished with 28 points on 12 of 21 shooting (breaking out of a fairly long slump), with 2 of 6 from 3, 7 boards, 2 assists and a steal.  He also played good defense on T-Mac in the 4th when we finally stopped the scoring machine.

3. Devean George - George scored all 14 of his points in the first 13 minutes of the second half to get the Mavs back in relative control of the game and get the crowd back into the mix.  He shot 5 of 8 from the field, with 4 of 5 from 3.  He also added 6 boards, a steal, 2 blocks, and a good swarming defensive effort to deny T-Mac the ball in the second half to limit his touches.

RANDOM CRAP!

• I noticed today that someone visited by blog site because of a Google search they conducted.  The topic?  Alliteration: efficient, effective and energized.  I think that sums up this blog to a tee, and frankly, I'm flattered.  It was probably some kid looking for good stuff to pack a term paper with for English class.  If she listened to the Dude's teachings, I trust she got an A+.
• I received an email from my grandmother regarding my last blog post where I was discussing how awesome I was and how I refuse to rid my vocabulary of that word.  Well, for all of you that might think that I'm arrogant for acknowledging my own awesomeness, I will tell you that my grandmother's email assured me that she thought I was VERY awesome.  Know this, people.  If there was a Doppler radar that detected patterns of awesomeness, my grandmother would be chief meteorologist, okay?  So if Gramma says the Dude is awesome, then I'm not being braggadocios, I'm just stating facts.  It's like thinking the library is egotistical because it claims to have a lot of books.
• I mentioned that Dirk vs. McGrady is always good.  Tonight they combined for 75 points, but that doesn't hold a candle to the overtime game (again a Dallas victory) in which they combined for 101 points.  Dirk had a career high 53, with T-Mac totaling 48.
• Jeff Van Gundy, coach for the Rockets, looks more like a CPA consultant than an NBA coach.  But make no mistake, he has left his mark on this league.  He's the one on the bottom.  This was when he was coach of the Knicks, and he tried to break up a fight by clutching on to Alonzo Mourning's leg and holding on for dear life.  Needless to say, the fight raged on in spite of his efforts.  He also tried to break up a fight between his own Marcus Camby and the Spurs' Danny Ferry once.  Unfortunately for him, he stepped in front of Camby's left hook to Ferry, and Camby wound up knocking his own coach out cold.  It's also impressive that this guy is brothers with this other NBA coach.  It's like looking in a mirror.
• Early in the 1st, Dampier got involved on two back to back power dunks followed by a sweet lay-in.  When Damp gets involved early offensively, it usually bodes well for him defensively for the rest of the game.
• At the end of the 1st period, it's Mavs 25, Rockets 30.  Wait, I mean it's Mavs 25, McGrady 21.
• Shane "Shar-Pei" Battier is in the game.  Looks like he's grown his hair out a bit this year to cover that wrinkly sac of a scalp he was exposing in last year's playoffs.
• If it wasn't for T-Mac's offensive barrage, Howard would be getting the attention for his own hot start.
• When Houston's Juwan Howard played here in Dallas, he wore number 5.  When we drafted Josh Howard, he selected number 5.  My question is: how many old Juwan Mavs jerseys did they pull out of the bargain bin and pass off as full price Josh Mavs jerseys?
• John Lucas III and Devin Harris dive to the floor for a loose ball.  Harris has his hands on it.  Lucas has his feet on it.  That places Harris's head uncomfortably in Lucas's crotch.  Did I mention at one point, Harris was on his back on the floor and Lucas was on his tummy on top?  Afterwards, the two teams took a timeout out so Lucas and Harris could go have a smoke and a pancake, and maybe exchange numbers.
• Shar-Pei Battier just shot an airball.  Of course the fans give him hell about it, but it's not like any of these people in attendance would hit rim every time they shot a 25 footer.  I personally enjoy the occasional airball, because just for that brief moment, I have something in common with these guys.  For that split half a second, they aren't better than me.  It's fleeting, I know, but I enjoy it nonetheless.
• According to the new rules, if you continuously yell at the refs you are supposed to receive a technical foul.  Dikembe Mutumbo, the oldest player in the league at 40+, is jawing up and down the court at these refs without even a warning.  Maybe the refs are giving him a senior's pass, kind of like when you put up with your grandfather bitching and moaning about loud rap music, violence in movies, and the current lack of respect for the genius that is Barry Manilow and John Wayne.
• As I'm writing that last point, Dirk is trying to set a pick for Harris and he gets shoved from behind by a Rocket player, sending him about 3 feet forward before he catches his balance.  No whistle.  Very next play, Howard cleanly blocks T-Mac's layup attempt, but did look relatively close, in real time action, to having a body on him.  Of course, that's a foul and free throws.  When Dirk turns to the refs to argue his no-call and Howard's foul, he gets about 1.5 seconds before the ref T's him up.  Just for the record, it looks as if the math works this way: Dirk (2 time Player of the Week and 3rd in MVP voting 2 years straight) + Howard (2 time Player of the Week and budding All-Star) = no respect and no chain.  Mutumbo (aging, one dimensional, career whiner) + McGrady (flashy scorer with commercials that has never won a playoff series in his entire career) = long leash and lots of calls
• Dirk is actually tied now for 2nd in the league with 8 technical fouls this year.  He probably wouldn't have most of those if the refs didn't let him get abused out there like they do.  Either that or the refs are finally learning German cuss words.
• Dirk could have a legit gripe so far in this game, because the Rockets have 17 free throws compared to the Mavs 4 in the first half.  The usual argument here would be that the Mavs are settling for jumpers, but I don't want to hear that in this situation because the Mavs have actually outscored the Rockets in the paint to this point 16 to 10.  You don't do that shooting jumpers.
• T-Mac had 21 in the first quarter and 29 at the half.  I guess, technically, we shut him down.
• Shut down isn't really the right word to use now, because just 4 minutes into the 3rd quarter, T-Mac has 39 points and is giving Kobe (who we play tonight) a blue print for how to shred our defense just like he did last December when he personally outscored the Mavs 62-61 through 3 quarters.
• Devean George's eyes are such a light brown that they almost look red, kind of like Schwarzenegger's T1000 in the first Terminator movie.  Maybe Devean George is a cyborg basketball player sent from the future to protect Dirk, the future leader of the Mavs, from the evil Bowen Machines.  That would explain how he just appeared from nowhere without playing at a major division I university.  Actually, the T1000 was a bad guy in the first movie, so this would have to be the T2 version that is really nice and learns to show emotions thanks to the help of Eddie Furlong.  Maybe George was the evil T1000 when he played with the Lakers, but now he's the good T1000 with the Mavs.  I like my cyborgs to be nice, good guys and disguised as humans.  I guess that's all I have to say about cyborgs at this point.
• The Mavs play some great D at the end of the 3rd, blocking two shots in 2.5 seconds to hold on to their 2 point lead.  On top of that, they go on to hold McGrady to 4 points in the 4th quarter after giving up 41 in the first 3.  Maybe McGrady didn't give Kobe a blueprint after all.  Maybe he prepared us with a blue print to shut down Kobe tonight and still keep the rest of his team in check.  Or maybe we just got lucky that McGrady's back started flaring up again at the end of the game.
• Harris just got molested by Rafer Alston without a whistle, then on the ensuing play while guarding Alston, Alston uses his forearm to shove Harris backwards right into a waiting, lowered shoulder Mutumbo pick.  Guess what?  Foul on Harris.  Harris rightfully gets mad, says one word, and gets a technical.  Meanwhile, Mutumbo is still yelling at the other refs to get off his lawn.
• A few plays later, T-Mac gets called for a traveling/up & down violation.  McGrady gets up in the refs face, yells to the point where spit is flying out of his mouth onto the ref, cusses at him (I can read lips on Tivo), then knocks the ball out of the refs hands, sending it rolling across the court.  Does T-Mac get a technical?  Of course not.  He gets a delay of game warning.
• This brings me, I guess, to another anti-ref point.  I definitely think the game needs refs, but the refs are there to call it fair and unbiased.  Too often, personal feelings get in the way.  It's not a ref's job to try to level the playing field for the two teams involved.  It used to be the Mavs got no respect from the refs because they weren't an elite team.  Now it's almost like they get no respect from the refs because they are an elite team and the other team needs more help from the officials than the Mavs do.  Just call it straight.  If you're going to T guys up as soon as they argue with you, then do it with everyone.  If you are going to let players show you up with no recourse, then let every player on the court have a crack at it.  Just make it even and leave your bag of feelings in the locker room with your street clothes.
• With 2 minutes left in the game, the Rockets down 12 and T-Mac heading to the locker room to get treatment on his 45-point back problem, Van Gundy throws in the towel, dumps his bench and lives to fight another day.  Since that ensures victory, then it would be pertinent to say that now 4 of the Mavs early season losses have been avenged: Spurs, Clippers, Jazz and now Rockets.  Let's see if they can continue the trend against the Lakers tonight.

Tonight's game is a later start (8:30 pm CST) even though they are playing at home because they are on TNT.  Kobe's in town so hide the women and children (and female hotel employees), and don't get yourselves out on the icy roads tonight.  Just bundle up for a little Mavs action and see if they can put together a few runs tonight to finish the first half of the season in style.  Go Mavs!

Rubber Stole

. . . as in the Mavs stole two games this weekend on their short road trip.  With the way they played Friday in Indiana and Sunday in Toronto, they had no business winning those games.  But the mark of a great team is winning under any circumstances.  The December Mavs would win by jumping on a team early, breaking their spirit by the end of the 3rd, and coasting to a blowout win.  The January Mavs have decided to take at least the first half off, then come storming back on the unsuspecting opponent to break their hearts at the buzzer.  I personally prefer the December Mavs, but a win is a win.

3 CHEERS: MAVS 115 @ PACERS 113 (OT)

DIRK'S DIGITS!

Dirk didn't single-handedly win this game, as his numbers might suggest, but he never gave his team a excuse to quit.  When Dirk sat down with a twisted ankle with 3 minutes left and his team down 6, he and the rest of the team could have said, "Oh, well.  We tried."  They could have said, "We have to pick up the slack."  Instead, their head coach was cranking the "Dirk for MVP" campaign to 11.  Dirk came back in to lead the Mavs to their first overtime game of the season, and then to their first overtime victory of the season.  13 of 24 shooting, with 2 of 4 from the arc and 15 of 18 from the line, for 43 points and 12 rebounds.

1. Jason Terry - JET was the Mav that helped Dirk carry the load in this one.  10 of 18 shooting, with 3 of 5 from the arc and 7 of 9 from the line, for 30 points, 7 assists and a steal.  JET's starting to find his stroke again, which is good considering Howard's starting to find a slump recently.

2. Danny Granger - Granger personally outscored the Mavs bench 22 to 9.  He also grabbed 8 boards and 2 steals.  Not bad for a second year player.

3. Jermaine O'Neal - Another monster game from a monster player whom I've raved about before.  10 of 22, with 6 of 6 from the line, for 26 points, 9 boards, 5 assists, a steal and 3 blocks.

3 CHEERS: MAVS 97 @ RAPTORS 96

DIRK'S DIGITS!

Dirk did do all the heavy lifting in this game, which was about as awful as the Mavs could play for the first 3 1/2 quarters and still win.  If they hadn't been playing the Raptors, a team that leads their division with a losing record, they wouldn't have been able to come back.  The Mavs have historically sucked in games that start before 6 pm, and this was no different.  Dirk only shot 14 of 30 because most of his first half shots were clanging.  It might not have just been the noon tipoff, which coincides with Dirk's ritualistic daily nap-time, but also the fact that Dirk had to play 44 minutes to will his team to an overtime victory on a bum ankle two nights earlier.  But Dirk's a trooper, not to mention the newly crowned NBA Player of the Week, and he played all but 90 seconds of this game, hitting 3 of his 6 threes and 7 of his 9 free throws for 38 points, 11 rebounds, 5 assists, 2 steals and 3 blocks.  As a grown, scholarly adult that watches the league as a whole, not just the Mavs, and can honestly block any personal or team-related bias to admit the talent level of other players, and maturely and intelligently debate their pros and cons in comparison to one another, I will say that if Dirk isn't your league MVP so far this season, then you're just a huge, stinky farthead.

1. Chris Bosh - I've been plugging this local Dallas kid all season as my recommendation for your Eastern Conference forward vote, and in this game, if you watched, you got to see why.  7 of 16 shooting, with 10 of 12 from the line, for 24 points, 15 boards, 2 assists, a steal and a block.  He's a bit of a goat for the 6 turnovers, and the blown assignment on Josh Howard's game-winner, but he's also the reason that this mediocre, yet up-and-coming team almost knocked off the best team in the NBA.  It's not Bosh's fault that the Dirk train picked up a full head of steam and the other 4 guys on the court tried unsuccessfully to stop him.

2. T.J. Ford - Another product from the state of Texas, this one from Houston and UT, playing north of the border (the Raptors also have a Oklahoma State grad, proving that NAFTA can really apply to the NBA as well).  If Ford and Bosh are given some time and support, they can grow to be pretty dominant in the East.  Ford's speed is on par with Devin Harris's, which allowed Ford to slash our perimeter defense for 16 points and 8 assists.  He also used his speed to pick up 3 steals, although a couple of those we just blatantly threw directly to him out of stupidity.

3. Jason Terry - The other Mav to get a Cheer by default because JET heated up in the 3rd and started draining some shots to the tune of 5 of 8 from behind the arc.  He finished with 17 points, with no other stat really being of note here.

RANDOM CRAP!

• I'm sure you remember my previous rants on officiating, not just game to game but the system as a whole, especially in the last post (Help! - 1/12/07).  I'm not just against them when the Mavs are on the wrong end of the final outcome.  I'm not just against them because I think their hierarchy star-calls system is subjective and ridiculous.  I'm not just against them because 50% of the officiating in a game is based on perception, not reality and their rulebook is open to more interpretation than the Old Testament.  I'm also against them because I don't think they are all great individuals.  One example: Also in the late 1990s, Bruton defended National Basketball Association referee Jesse Ray Kersey against charges of tax evasion. Along with about 10 other NBA refs, Kersey allegedly downgraded first-class airline tickets (3 Cheers note: tickets are paid for by the league as part of their labor agreement) to cheaper fares and pocketed the difference in price. While the NBA allowed the practice, the referees failed to report the money as income to the IRS. Kersey pleaded guilty before trial, and the government agreed to a sentence of probation.  Another more recent example: Blow Your Whistle, Then Blow Your Top: What’s the deal? Everyone in Portland has to be a tough guy, and it’s not even limited to Trailblazer players anymore. Last Sunday, nine-year veteran referee Rodney Mott was observed flipping the bird to a fan in the stands and using inappropriate language after a Blazer home loss to the Heat. Sure, it’s a lame offense by Portland’s standards, but it should still earn him a little street cred in “The City of Roses.” And I’m sure Zach Randolph feels that the greatest form of flattery is imitation. But shouldn’t refs be held to higher standards during the league's attempt at rebuilding their image? A three game suspension without pay seems a bit weak on David Stern’s part. 
• A Dallas Morning News Metro columnist reported on a list concocted by some small college in Michigan of trendy words or dopey phrases that ought to be banished.  First of all, they claim the word "amazing" has surpassed the word "awesome" as the most annoying linguistic hiccup of the year.  If you took the word "awesome" out of the Dude's vocabulary, he would have less to say and even less to stand for.  I also believe that the only reason these people don't like these words is because they're so rarely used in reference to themselves or their stupid list.  I happen to love the words "amazing" and "awesome" for the exact opposite reason.  Upon reporting this list, readers begin to write in their suggestions.  The writer claims that many readers admonished the practice of addressing fellow humans as "dude."  I agree.  When addressing me, it's Dude, with a capital "D".  Get it right.
• After watching the Golden Globes last night, I think the Mavs are becoming the Meryl Streep of the NBA.  No matter what they do, they seem to win.  Don't you get the feeling that at this point in her career, Meryl Streep could star in an indie, art-house, B-movie simply titled "Dookie" in which she stands covered in various mammal feces in absolute silence for 89 minutes of running time, and she would still win an Oscar, a Golden Globe, a SAG award, and a Nobel Peace Prize for her stunning and rugged commentary on post-cold war politics and intra-planetary dianetic cohesiveness?  Well, I do. 

Even though the Mavs have been playing like dookie compared to their December standards, they just keep winning.  They won't be able to keep doing it for long, however, with the competition coming up this week with Houston and the Lakers at home, followed by a 3 game road trip to Miami, Orlando and Chicago.  I guess whether you steal one at the end or hijack it at the beginning, a win's a win and the Mavs have at least 2 more than anyone else in the league right now.  That just warms my rubber soul.

Help!

There's only about a week left for All-Star voting, and Dirk's not too far behind the second spot to possibly start the game!  Help get Dirk the starting spot that he so definitely deserves over Kevin Garnett.  To all my Spurs-loving family members, I'll make you a deal.  Vote for Josh Howard and Dirk Nowitzki as your West forwards instead of Tim Duncan and Bruce (vomit in my mouth) Bowen, and I will return the favor by voting for former Spurs Nazr Mohammed of the Pistons and Speedy Claxton of the Hawks.  Deal?  A little help?  The Mavs don't need help on the court, except from the refs a bit.  They need some help reminding the refs that they are a physical, defensive-minded team now.  Teams with forged defensive identities tend to get away with more physical play.  We are still considered soft, so we are officiated with a little less leniency, I believe.  A possible solution: sign Mike Tyson.  That would help.

3 CHEERS: MAVS 108 @ JAZZ 105

DIRK'S DIGITS!

What a night for Dirk!  That little cold spell he got in the Laker game that kept him from carrying the Mavs to victory?  Didn't get it in this game.  Quite the contrary.  A season-high 38 points on 12 of 18 shooting and 13 of 15 from the line carries a lot of water, especially when you add it to 7 boards, 2 assists and a steal.  Dirk could have had more if he hadn't have sat for so long in the first half due to early foul trouble (starting a anti-Mavs tendency by the refs from the very early stages of this game).

1. Carlos Boozer - Boozer is part of that new wave of Duke players that don't automatically start sucking as soon as they reach the NBA.  He fits in nicely in Utah because he plays in that Karl Malone mold, just without the consistent 15 foot jumper.  He pretty much matched Dirk shot for shot, going 13 of 19 from the field, but he didn't get to the line nearly as much, only 3 of 4, so he ended the night with a very respectable 29 points.  Not befitting a low post big man, he only had 4 boards, but he did have 4 assists and 3 very fleet-footed steals.  Color me impressed with his increased level of play this year.  Color me not impressed by the acne.  Booze needs to call up Jessica Simpson or P-Diddy and get the hook up on some Pro-Activ Solution.  It seriously looks like when they demoted Pluto from planet status, it sought comfort on his forehead.

2. Josh Howard - Set the tone early by scoring 9 points on 4 of 4 shooting in the first 5 minutes of the game, punctuated by a vicious, driving one-handed throw down in the face of yet another ugly Euro.  He finished the game with a hard earned 21 points and 9 boards, 3 of which were key offensive rebounds to keep possessions alive when we needed them the most.

3. Devin Harris - Another wicked dunk in this game was supplied by Devin Harris, who put an ankle-breaking crossover dribble on one guy, then launches over 3 other Jazz players for the slam.  What made it even more beautiful was Harris doesn't even look like he can shave yet, but he made men out of those 3 guys.  I'm sure their parents will be proud to see them in the background of Harris's next poster.  Harris totaled 14 points on 5 of 7 shooting and 6 assists.  The hustle was the key, though.  He came up behind a driving Jazz player on a fast break, poked the ball out, ran it down in the corner, tossed it back to Damp as he's diving out of bounds, and it lead to Dirk getting the basket and the bludgeoning on the other end.

Bonus Cheer: Jason Terry - Really quick for Terry, because I will go more into this on the Cheers for the Blazers game.  Terry is finally finding his shot again after a 3-game slump in which his shot looked about as broke as K-Fed's bank account after the break up.  18 points, 7 of 12 shooting, 2 of 5 from 3, and 6 assists.  That's one way to beat a slump.  The other way is with a stick.

RANDOM CRAP!

• Gordon Giricek, one of Utah's 3 ugly Euros, was originally drafted by the Mavs in the second round of '99 with the 40th pick.  We traded his rights along with a future 2nd round pick to San Antonio for the rights to the first and probably last high school kid the Mavs have ever drafted, Leon Smith.  Leon Smith was a messed up kid with tremendous potential, but he was just never mentally and emotionally mature enough to make it work and put it all together.  I don't think he played a single game for us.  At least Giricek isn't making us eat crow with his career.  That same season had a few other notable names, like Jason Terry and Devean George.  It's also the year we drafted Wang Zhizhi.  It was also the year that the Suns drafted Shawn Marion with the draft pick that we gave them in the Steve Nash trade.  Time flies, huh?
• The refs in this game were about as consistent as a non-fiber eating person's bowel movements, and the way they called the game was about as putrid.  The Jazz were going to the line for everything early on.  Then you get to Stackhouse's first flagrant foul.  A defender has to allow his opponent at least a foot of space between them for the offensive player to pivot if they are facing one another.  Matt Harpring was so close to Stackhouse, he should have at least taken him out to dinner first and popped a breath mint beforehand.  When Stack pivots to his inside, he brings the ball up to avoid the pickoff.  In doing so, he rakes Harpring in the face with his elbow.  Harpring drops to the floor like Lee Harvey Oswald in the courthouse parking lot and jerks up some tears on cue, probably summoning the miserable existence that is being Matt Harpring.  The refs call a foul.  Stack doesn't agree, but he stays quiet and even offers to help Harpring up.  The refs then confer, oddly enough right in front of Utah coach Jerry Sloan, who is well outside his coach's box yelling his disapproval, and decide that Stackhouse gets a flagrant, which gives Harpring the two shots, plus the Jazz get the ball back.  Sloan is now standing about 5 feet from the MAVS bench, yelling and cussing at Stackhouse.  Something about that's b.s, and you're an f'ing this and an a'hole that.  Stackhouse talks back to stick up for himself, and the refs give Stack a technical.  Sloan, the grown man who ran to the other end of the court to start a war of words with an opposing player, gets nothing but a hearty cheer from the fans.  Early in the second half, Avery starts to gripe about a non-call.  I say he "started to" because the ref allowed AJ to get about 3 words out before he T'd him up.  Avery probably has a legitimate beef at this point, because the Jazz had shot 25 free throws in the first half to our 8, not to mention the flagrant and technical on Stackhouse that Sloan convinced the refs to give him.  Towards the end of the game, Stack went up to block a shot by the Jazz's Jaron Collins.  He misses the ball and swipes the arms while he's in the air.  Collins, about as graceful as a water buffalo, crumbles to the ground.  It was a definite foul, and they call it, but then after conferring with one another again, they decide that it's time to end Stack's night.  They change it to another flagrant, and he's ejected, not to mention how much he will get fined as a result of the refs coming down on him.  The sad thing about the foul was it looked almost identical to what happened to Jason Terry on his drive at the end of the Lakers game where 3 Lakers caught him in mid-air and took him to the ground.  That play didn't even get a whistle, much less a flagrant.  I've said it before, and I'll probably say it a hundred times more.  It's hard enough playing one NBA opponent.  Playing against two in the same game is almost a kiss of death.  I don't think refs get together before the game and decide which team they are going to side with, but I also know they are humans and a lot of these guys hold major grudges towards some players or teams or owners (wink, wink).  Some of these grudges are long standing, and some might form in that very game, but you can see it.  You can taste it in the air as you watch it unfold.  But until they are held accountable for their mistakes, and the public is made aware of this, they have no initiative to change their ways.  Everybody knows when a player gets fined or suspended, and for what reason.  Refs can blow a whistle and say, "Foul on number 5, yeah that guy, standing right there in the head band.  He screwed up.  Everybody stare at the screwup wearing the white number 5 jersey."  But nobody from the league office ever comes out and says, "Man, that Joe Forte really made it hard for the Mavs to win that game.  He blew at least 4 calls, and was whistling the Mavs for the exact same grievances that he was letting the Jazz get away with.  He will be suspended for 3 games without pay, and he will be forced to sit in his room and not come out until he has thought about what he's done."  If the NBA ever comes out and admits that there was an error in officiating during a game, which happens about as often as I go the gynecologist, then it's usually just "yep, we f***ed that up.  Oh well, nothing we can do now.  Sorry the Mavs lost through no fault of their own due to our error.  Even though they played hard for 48 minutes to win, we screwed up and now their effort's in vain.  Don't forget to check out our Kobe and Lebron love-athon on ABC this Sunday!"
• Did that last point seem heated?  Just imagine if we had lost.
• I like the Utah uniforms that they have now.  They're a lot better than the ones they were wearing back in the late 90's when they were playing the Bulls in the Finals those 2 years.  You remember?  The ones with the Rocky Mountain landscape pictorial on the shirts and shorts.  Those were awful.  Uniforms should look sporty, cutting edge and marketable, not like a replica of a Thomas Kinkade painting.
• Both teams did a poor job at handling the ball in this game, combining for 42 turnovers.  If this had been the Bobcats vs. 76ers, then it would have been the ugly kind of 42 turnovers.  You know, guys dribbling off their foot, passing the ball to the ref thinking he was playing for their team, shooting a 3 and having it bounce off the rim and over the backboard where it rattles through the beams and wiring behind the glass like a Plinko chip on Price is Right.  Instead, a lot of the turnovers in this game were due to two really good teams playing really good defense.  These two also combined for 18 steals.
• Utah's shot clocks keep malfunctioning and shutting off.  This leads to some delays, and it's always around when Utah looks like they want a timeout.  I suspect foul play.  After all, how do your play clocks conveniently lose power when you play your home games at ENERGY/Solutions Arena?  I don't think the Mavs have ever had a problem booking a flight to get to American Airlines Center.  Maybe they could find a way to bottle Devin Harris's exuberance on the court, and then harness it keep the clocks running.  Now that, my friends, is an ENERGY/Solution!  I'll be here all week.
• I made a note around the middle of the fourth quarter that Dampier is doing more harm than good for us in this game.  He's dropping passes, bobbling rebounds, etc.  I officially eat crow when he comes up big at the end of the game with a huge block on a driving Deron Williams layup attempt that would have tied the game with only a few seconds left.
• Shawn Bradley, a Utah native, was sitting behind the Mavs bench for the game.  Sometimes I forget how much I miss the White Thunder.

3 CHEERS: MAVS 99 vs. TRAIL BLAZERS 74

DIRK'S DIGITS!

What does Dirk get when you're playing your 6th game in 9 days, you've just finished up a 3-game west coast road trip that you finished 2-1 against opponents that are a combined 73-35 and the final scores were decided by an average margin of 3.6 points, you've just played the night before and you got home around 4 am, and you wind up holding your doormat of an opponent in this game to only 52 points in the final 3 quarters of the game?  A night off.  Dirk only had to play 25 very low key minutes in this one, taking only 6 shots, making 3, shooting 6 free throws, making 5, and totaling 11 points, 4 boards, 5 assists and a steal.  Not great for the averages, but I doubt Dirk minds too much.

1. Jason Terry - The JET has refueled.  Terry went through a rough little shooting slump over the past few games, coming out of it in the second half of the Utah game.  That's bad news for opponents.  Dirk looks like he's in one of those stints that he falls into a few times a year where he can go unconscious for a couple weeks and average 35 points a game.  Harris is really starting to find his groove of late, and Terry might also be rounding into one of those 2 week periods where the jumpers rain like pennies from heaven.  When one or two of those things coincide, it's enough to carry the team regardless of what other flaws we might have.  If all three of those things click simultaneously, the rest of the NBA best take notice.  In this game, Terry notched 20 points on a fabulous 8 of 12 shooting, including 3 of 4 from 3 land, with 3 boards, 3 assists, and a steal.

2. Erick Dampier - He took and made 1 shot.  He scored 2 points.  Why is he here?  He grabbed 10 rebounds, he blocked 2 shots, he actually had 3 assists, and he relatively shut down the Blazers only legit offensive power all night.  Zach Randolph still had 21 points on 8 of 12 shooting, but Damp denied him the entry pass most of the night until the Blazers stopped trying to feed him on the blocks and started rotating the ball around to the weakside, keeping Randolph away from the offense and out of position for the offensive rebound.  None of that happens without a very focused, inspired effort by Dampier.  Most Cheers are predicated on offensive stats, but I wanted to commend Damp for his defensive effort in this game.

3. DJ Mbenga - Again, he only took and made 1 shot.  He only scored 2 points.  He even stole the ball once.  But he got to play a full 3 minutes!  He would have played even more if he hadn't taken an inadvertent elbow to the nose, which sidelined him for the rest of the game.  How frustrating that must be.  You bust your ass in practice every day to be ready when its your time to play, your team is destroying an opponent early and looking to rest its big minute guys, and your time comes to play a possible 15 minutes.  3 minutes in, and now you're making out with a Gatorade towel and an ice pack because somebody caught your sniffer with their funny bone.  Anyway, as a consolation prize to that wasted opportunity, I give DJ a Cheer and hope he gets the opportunity to play significant minutes in a blowout spectacular again in the near future.

RANDOM CRAP!

• The Dallas Mavericks sideline reporter for all their local broadcasts is Laura Green.  I think she's very good.  She knows when to pop in with a comment, and it's always very informative and poignant.  I don't have a problem with female sideline reporters.  In fact, I generally welcome it because I think they can add a slightly different perspective to their research, questioning and reporting.  The only time I don't like female sideline reporters is when they are purely eye candy, and contribute nothing to the broadcast besides "a bubbly personality" which usually means "dumb as a box of rocks, but she's got big cans."  Anyone remember Christine Friedel?  I rest my case.  She would pop into the middle of a intricate dissection of the box and 1 defense by Ortegal on the teleprompter to say, "Matt, Bob, I just realized that the Mavs decided to wear their white shoes tonight.  They look good, don't they?  I also love puppies and sunshine!"  In other words, enjoy Laura Green's work, because it doesn't come along often on a local broadcast.
• Some NBA pundit was asked on ESPN the other day to size up the MVP race at what is almost the half way mark of the season.  He said that he would narrow the discussion to Dirk, Nash and Kobe.  Here's his rationale on Nash:  Nash doesn't win it because he's already won 2 in a row, and 3 in a row would be too much.  That's good logic, dude.  Let's not give it to Nash because he's kind of been hogging it lately, and that's not fair to the other kids.  Here's his rationale on Dirk:  Dirk's numbers have fallen way off, and he plays with too many weapons to say that he carries that team.  Did I mention that this guy has a massive case of Down's syndrome.  Actually, that's an insult to Down's sufferers.  They're smarter than that.  Since the departure of Nash and Finley, Dirk has been the Mavs ONLY All-Star, even though they have averaged about 59 wins a season since then.  Even with Howard's emergence this year, he still might not make the All-Star team.  And it's not like Nash does it single handedly.  He has Marion, Stoudemire and Boris Diaw.  Here's his rationale on Kobe:  Kobe deserves the MVP award because he's finally learned how to pass the ball.  What?  Well why don't we give the title of poet laureate to the illiterate guy because he finally learned to read.  Let's give the Tour de France yellow jersey to the 6 year old down the street because he finally took the training wheels off.  This is a serious award.  It's a serious award that should go to the player that means the most to his team or the best player on the best team.  As far as I'm concerned in my very unbiased, in-no-way-is-this-because-I-hate-Kobe opinion, both of those descriptions fit Dirk and Dirk alone.
• This game is a pure, unadulterated Mavs blitzkrieg from the jump: steals, fast breaks, dunks, open jumpers, easy rebounds.  After the last 3 games, it's nice to know that I can just sit back and enjoy the ass kicking that's about to ensue.
• The offense stalls a bit at the end of the 1st when Avery dumps his bench, but not to worry.  Avery quickly gets at least one starter on the court with the reserves at all times, and we're back on track.
• Portland's Zach Randolph is a tremendous talent.  He's not the smartest, most upstanding citizen in the world, but he is extremely talented.  My favorite story about him is when he and a former teammate got in a fight.  They almost came to blows after Randolph decided to sucker punch the guy from behind in the locker room, but they were separated before it escalated.  Later, a reporter asked the teammate if it was water under the bridge or if this could linger, and the player actually said that he wouldn't do anything to Randolph at that moment because it would violate his parole.  But as soon as he got off parole, boy howdy!  S**t's goin' down, son!
• Dirk just passed the ball to the official.  His intended target, Howard, is about 10 feet away from the ref.  The refs have never helped us before, why would they start now.  If the ref wanted to make friends with the crowd for the rest of the game, he would have taken the pass and spotted up for the jumper.  He didn't.  Jerk.  At least it's a blowout so Dirk can laugh that one off.
• Another quick rant on jerky refs.  If a foul occurs, then blow the whistle.  Don't wait to see if the shot goes in or not.  I can't stand these officials that think if the player missed, then he must have gotten fouled.  That means they're assuming, and they weren't watching.  If they weren't watching the player with the ball, which is ultimately the only major piece of equipment used during a game, then they aren't doing their jobs and need to be suspended and sent to their rooms.  Conversely, if the player makes the shot, it doesn't mean they weren't fouled.  Look at all the times a guy gets the score and the scar.
• At the end of the game, they get a quick interview with Dampier to see if he can comment on his defensive performance against Randolph in this game.  It's pretty brutal.  Interviewing Damp is like trying to strike up a conversation with that kid on the playground during recess that's afraid of the sunlight.  Real twitchy and distracted movements, scattered speech patterns and sometimes inaudible volume levels.  I kept wanting it to end, yet I couldn't take my eyes off it.

The Dude is here to help you.  That's why you have 3 Cheers.  So help repay me by going to NBA.com and clicking on the All-Star link and voting a straight Mavs ticket.  Word is that they all know how to pass the ball, if that's any incentive.  I know it is for some.  Also, help repay me by cheering hard for the Mavs every chance you get.  And cheer for the Dude, too.  Just, when you're sitting in your living room or something, reading a magazine or drinking tea or whatever, just let out a "GO DUDE!"  It's therapeutic, and it will make me feel better.  If you are surrounded by company, don't tell them right away what the hell you just yelled about.  Let them figure it out.  Then when they get stumped, just say it's from this awesome blog that you check out daily and everybody's doing it.  Then the seed is planted, and a new Mavs fan is born.  Go Mavs!